Love notes from Mama August -December 2022 Part 1

9-6-2022

Hi Elder Miller-- I am guessing by now your spanish is better than mine. Entonces, voy a escribir en espanol un poco. Me gusta su cuarto- su cama esta

muy limpio y ordenado. Yo mostrare a Sadie le pictura de las montanas.... que linda. La hará feliz saber que está en tu pared. Okay that's good for me... your brain must hurt with all the spanish input--Last night the kids were all flustered-- and so we talked with each of them to try to help set them at ease. Graham is nervous to branch out and play basketball at lunch with the "good" "popular" kids that know how to play. That made me sad that he didn't initially have the confidence to join that group. I think it's important that he does, so when it's try out time (which I think is in January) those kids know who he is. If you have time to send him a hype email on your pday that'd be awesome. Avery was worked up because this week on Fb I saw that Rocky Girls BBall starts open gyms-- 6-7 open gym and 7-8 weights on Tuesdays and Thrusdays. For some reason the weights component just sent her over the edge-- so we tried to talk through that and how dipping out after the bball part and not going to the weight part was kind of weak sauce and wouldn't help the coaches/girls see her as all in. Then Lainey was woirrid about her student rep speech in front of her class today...nervous. As we visited with each of them it was sweet to see the literal strentgh that came to them when we shared how you are doing something hard and new and overwhelming. It was easy for them to see your example of faith and being brave, and stepping up, especially when it's hard. I could tell how much they love you and look up to you and I am sure you will be in all of their thoughts today as they tackle these hard things. Your missionary influence is felt and even without knowing it, your faith is impactful at home. It was neat too, because later in hte evening, Avery and Lainey asked dad for a blessing-- and I was grateful for their willingness to access preisthood power.

I guess you knew about the Provo crowd coming home-- emma thought you knew-- I was so surprised and it was wonderful to have them here-- though we all missed you...."it's more fun with Miles" is said around here a lot. Graham lost his bed again, hahaha-- that room is kind of a pain that way, but he got over it and said he liked being in your bed anyway. awwww. Emma wanted to sleep with Watson upsairs (since he couoldn't be in Grhams bed with Sadie and Seth in there) so we tried that one night- backfire-- between the twin size and Watson's snoring- so the next night he slept with us... which goes okay, but two dogs in the bed who both cuddle up to dad makes it hard for him to sleep= it's so funny that they do that to him. He probably likes it bc they keep him warm, but he also can't really turn over so that's not the best. We survived. and last night after the kids left, Watson and Graham were cozy back in Grahams bed. His dresser piece should come Thrusday and he's very excited to get his toys out of the bench. :) Still no dining room chairs--= what a joke. Did get the artwork for the entry- it's a kind of rolling wave scene and besides its subtle California home vibes for me- it's really peaceful and I like it.

The snowcone machine broke-- mid service-- some people didn't get their snow cone! I had a defend the beach moment- which I know will make you proud (virtual fist pump) I called amazon and they said it was outside the return window (bc I had bought it in Apirl and there's a two month return period) but I talked to a supervisor and said how we'd invsted in syrups etc and that the quality was not equal to their brand- and guess what-- full refund and new unit shipped... they only had red, but that's fine, same machine. I was pretty proud. hahaha. We'll be up and running again soon. Dad finished off the grapefruit flavor-- and there are several that are almost gone-- maybe we'll just offer those to slim down our snowcone bin situation in the pantry all winter long. It is a little extreme. hahaha.

Week 2 of college for Emma-- so far she's not a dating machine- but I think it's good to ease into that-- she ran into Preston on campus- said he was a little awkward- She's seen Kenedee a few times-- that girl is a handful. She's only gone to church once and liked it-- I think her roommates are really nice- but they aren't best buddies that do everything together-- there's a lot of do your own thing. She's seen Liv a few times (Liv turned in her mission papers!!) But I think Emma is not wanting to be attatched at the hip with Liv-- so that's a good situation to see each other but not really needs each other. They both have that sports pass-- Emma went to a VB game , but isn't hyped about football-- which makes dad scratch his head bc he's pertty excited about a game v. Baylor I think-- even I could have fun at a BYU football game-- but it's not so fun when you don't have a group to go with, so hoepfully she'll go with roommates or Hawaii firends or sometihng. Sadie and Seth seem to be settling in with school. They don't think they'll come back over conference weekend-- too short of a time for them with homework etc-- so I'm glad that they got to come this weekend. Emma will still come though.

I had to speak a little in Relief Society with my new calling and that went okay. I shared how the love of the Savior is so all encompassing and yet so personal at the same time. I used this pitutre (artist Eva Timonty) I think I found it in a recent Come Follow Me. It's a really beatiful painitng of a woman scooped up in the Savior's arms- when I see it- I am reminded of the peace and refuge the Savior is. I also love how the artist portrayed the Savior as the focal and light part of the art- and the background scenery, while it is still there- it is clearly not the focus, and that helps me prioritize things of the world (my todo list and concerns) behind my seeking the Savior.

I sure love you--keep taking lots of pics-- I look everyday in your google folder to check for them and save them to your weekly folder- We love to see your face and your surroundings and everyone rushes for my computer when I tell them there's new Miles pics. On a sidenote, the kids said you look "swol" in that pic of you with the MTC President's wife and at the "new missionaries stop here sign" Oh yeah!! (snowplow guy style)

I love you son. (name the movie-- say it like the movie) (Police officer in Cloudy with a chance of meatballs)- don't want you to lose your movie quote edge! We are so proud of you. You are doing a hard thing well. God sees that and so do we.

xxooxxoxxo

Mama

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9/12/2022

Here are my Stake Conference leadership and sat eve notes. Sunday's session was good too- but I didn't take many notes bc I was playing the scribble gane with Lainey :)

Stake conference notes

Missionary work doesn’t just demand our purity, it will help us be pure -Clayton Christensen

There are always more blessings than burdens even when it doesn’t feel like it. -Jeffrey R Holland

Draw on Something higher within yourself

Good ministering interview questions/self reflect: What is causing you to exercise your faith right now? How can we support you?

3 Nephi 17:1-3 LIGHT LOVE LABOR – we need to align ourselves with Christ

1 Behold, now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he looked round about again on the multitude, and he said unto them: Behold, my ^atime is at hand.

2 I ^aperceive that ye are weak, that ye cannot ^bunderstand all my words which I am commanded of the Father to speak unto you at this time.

3 Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ^aponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and ^bprepare your minds for the ^cmorrow, and I come unto you again.

Experience shared by Elder Ballard in 2012 speaking about higher and lower lights -Analogy that the higher light is Jesus Christ and Lower light is temple attendance, keeps us on course on our covenant path

BY PRESIDENT BOYD K. PACKER (President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) In 1971, I was assigned to stake conferences in Western Samoa, including the organization of a new stake on Upolu island. After interviews we chartered a small plane to Savai'i island to hold a stake conference there. The plane landed on a grassy field at Faala and was to return the next afternoon to take us back to Upolu island. The day we were to return from Savai'i, it was raining. Knowing the plane could not land on the wet field, we drove to the west end of the island, where there was a runway of sorts atop a coral break. We waited until dark, but no plane arrived. Finally, we learned by radio that there was a storm, and the plane could not take off. We radioed back that we would come by boat. Someone was to meet us at Mulifanua. As we pulled out of port on Savai'i, the captain of the 40-foot (12 m) boat asked the mission president if he had a flashlight. Fortunately, he did and made a present of it to the captain. We made the 13-mile (21 km) crossing to Upolu island on very rough seas. None of us realized that a ferocious tropical storm had hit the island, and we were heading straight into it. We arrived in the harbor at Mulifanua.

There was one narrow passage we were to go through along the reef. A light on the hill above the beach and a second lower light marked the narrow passage. When a boat was maneuvered so that the two lights were one above the other, the boat would be lined up properly to pass through the dangerous rocks that lined the passage. But that night there was only one light. Two elders were waiting on the landing to meet us, but the crossing took much longer than usual. After watching for hours for signs of our boat, the elders tired and fell asleep, neglecting to turn on the second light, the lower light. As a result, the passage through the reef was not clear.

The captain maneuvered the boat as best he could toward the one upper light on shore while a crewman held the borrowed flashlight over the bow, searching for rocks ahead. We could hear the breakers crashing over the reef. When we were close enough to see them with the flashlight, the captain frantically shouted reverse and backed away to try again to locate the passage. After many attempts, he knew it would be impossible to find the passage. All we could do was try to reach the harbor at Apia 40 miles (64 km) away. We were helpless against the ferocious power of the elements.

I do not remember ever being where it was so dark. We made no progress for the first hour, even though the engine was at full throttle. The boat would struggle up a mountainous wave and then pause in exhaustion at the top of the crest with the propellers out of the water. The vibration of the propellers would shake the boat almost to pieces before it slid down the other side. We were lying spread-eagled on the cover of the cargo hold, holding on with our hands on one side and with our toes locked on the other to keep from being washed overboard. Brother Mark Littleford lost hold and was thrown against the low iron rail. His head was cut, but the rail kept him from being washed away. Eventually, we moved ahead and near daylight finally pulled into the harbor at Apia. Boats were lashed to one another for safety. They were several deep at the pier. We crawled across them, trying not to disturb those sleeping on deck. We made our way to Pesega, dried our clothing, and headed for Vailuutai to organize the new stake. I do not know who had been waiting for us at the beach at Mulifanua. I refused to let them tell me. But it is true that without that lower light, we all might have been lost.

There is in our hymnbook a very old and seldom-sung hymn that has very special meaning to me. Brightly beams our Father's mercy From his lighthouse evermore, But to us he gives the keeping Of the lights along the shore. Let the lower lights be burning; Send a gleam across the wave. Some poor fainting, struggling seaman You may rescue, you may save. Dark the night of sin has settled; Loud the angry billows roar. Eager eyes are watching, longing, For the lights along the shore. Trim your feeble lamp, my brother; Some poor sailor, tempest-tossed, Trying now to make the harbor, In the darkness may be lost.

Joseph smith’s question of the Lord in the sacred grove was one of Action (not just tell me which church is true, but tell me which one to JOIN) We need to ask the Lord questions that require action of us. Formula for inspiration- if you listen with the intention to act.

Become more yoked to and with the Savior

A divine principle of eternal progression along covenant path- at what intersecting point do we find ourselves and those we share gospel with

Also a discussion with general authorities wife that prob was my fave part— ♥

She was on a boat going to a snorkeling excursion when the weather turned bad and the waves got pretty intense. She watched the people all around her start getting sea sick. She really didn’t want to get sea sick. People were throwing up and turning green—so she looked around at each of them, and then looked at the captain who wasn’t sick at all, and seemed to be enjoying the rough sea. So she went near him and asked—why is it that you are not sea sick like almost everyone else? What can I do to not get sea sick? What’s your secret—he said- they are sick because they are doing it wrong. ?? Notice how every time a wave swells, the people try to sway opposite it to steady them selves against the force of the wave. That creates the inner unbalance and will always cause sea sickness. I lean into the wave, and into the way the boat is rocking and by not opposing the force, I am able to tolerate it better, and not upset my center balance.

She compared this to how trials come to us and we fight against them and push back, instead of leaning into them, focusing on the Lord to center us and see us through. Also she compared it to concepts in Dad’s fave scripture—how we let the natural man override the spirit, and if we’d just let go our inclination to follow that sometimes, by trying to better discern why we feel certain things or react certain ways or choose certain choices, if we try to isolate our spiritual nature from our human nature, we are better able to not oppose the “waves” and stay close to the spiritual center that is peace and joy, even when life is tossing you about.

So it was a good conference :) Sunday we got there a half an hour early but could only find seats on the hard chairs in the very last row- so that prob contributed to why I wasn't as attentive on Sunday as I'd been Saturday. :) The rest of the weekend was low key. Graham had Landon over to swin and Lainey had her friend Autumn. Something happened to the pool after the Miller 5000- prob an overload of "dudes" and we haven't been able to get the pool quite balanced-- it's kind of green and murky- and dad's frustrated with paying pool people to do it when it looks like that- even though I'm sure the chemicals cholorine etc are off with having had 60 swimmers in one evening. Anwyay I think Dad wants to do chemicals next summer and have Grham and Lainey clean it for a money job. We'll see.

We've started haing graham and lainey switch off playing a hymn at Come Follow Me. Mostly bc Graham is fighting hard the piano thing. I still feel like it is one of his gifts and he needs to grow it-- plus I don't think he has an abundance of "hard" things in his life, so it's good for him to handle this one. WHen I pointed that out to him, he burst into tears and when he was ready to talk about it- all I got was that his life was "hard" and his support of that was moving and you leaving on your mission. That was tender to me and I tried to regroup a little with him- but didn't let him dodge the rest of his practice. Keep encouraging him with piano, what you see when Elders can play etc- I think it will mean more coming from you.

Emma had a first date (with a kid from her mission) that she wasn't pumped about (but let her tell you about it-- dont' tell her I mentioned it) That will be a one and done. She had a mini mission reunion gathering this last Saturday- which she really liked. but it kind of intereferred with going to the BYU Baylor football game-- the reunion ended before the game, but you had to get there to teh staduim super early to get a spot or something so she hung out with her old comps that nigth instead of going to the game-- she had fun,but hearing what a good game (double overtime with a BYU win even though our kicker missed 2 field goals in two big plays back to back), I think she thoguht that maybe she should have gone. I hope she does go soon. I saw your stadium pics from the rooftop. I bet it was loud. Soon it will be you overthere! I am not sure how hard it is to focus without sports, but i do know its a sacrifice! it will all be waiting for you when you are done with your full time missionary service.

Puppies are doing good. Copper J had something goign on with his stomach earlier today- you know when it makes all the weird sounds? Dad was stdying his scriptuers on that chaise part of the couch (his spot) and Copper J threw up chunks. Dad was pretty flustered- but I guess he cleaned up the chunks then came to me tellign me teh couch was ruined and that the dog had thrown up. I tackled it with my super secret stain remover (dish soap and water) and it all came out-- but dad wasn't happy.

We had a sweet visit with the Rickseckers- they moved to a new place over by roaring springs and it seems to be a good move-- they were going to separate them if they stayed at grace- like put Gerry in a higher need type of area and so they'd be separated.... so they moved instead. Those two are cute adn they of course wanted to be sure we sent our love-- they are praying for you!

Jack comes over this next Sunday! That'll be good. Still need to decide what to make...

We Tried to organize the three playroom closests (ktichen/restaurant downstairs, barbie cave in your old closet, adn random toys in organzier and dollhouse in closet by the TV upstairs) We haven't really utilized those spaces with summertime, but I think when the yard and pool aren't an option it will be good to have those spaces.

We had a sweet Come Follow Me yesterday. It's such a blessign to share testimonies together in natural ways. You naturally came up- when we were talking about the great work teh Lord has prepared and needs us to do. We started a blessings from having Miles on a mision and each week at come follow me, we're going to talk about it and write some down-- so at teh end of your mission, we'll have a notebook full of ways we felt blessed and strengthened as a family becasuse of you serving the Lord as His missionary.

The weather definitely seems cooler- like we went from 100's to the 80's- skipped the 90's totally.

Ave started open gym and weights ( I think I told you) She could use some hype talk on that- but I'm super proud of her. I sure hope she has a spot-- that whole sitaution at Owyhee for you ripped my heart out how that all went down and that you didn't even have an opportunity. I'm sorry it worked out like that-- and even though you survived it like a champ, and it did give you the chance to save money working for your mission, I still thought it was sad adn wrong. LIfe goes on-- I just hope Avery gets a spot-- she is still drifting a little, hasn't really found her nitch totally, and she's got too much high school left to bag it and just come home for lunch (I loved that time with you!!!)

I'm pretty much rambling- and I know you've got lots to do- dont respond to my emails- we can catch up on pdays-- and that'll be good. I sure love you. I miss you so much and I am mindful fo you by the minuite-- in my heart and in my every prayer. We all are

xxooxoxo

p.s. We watched that clip of you in Mexico on the guitar yesterday-- everyone was laughing so hard-- "Ramses is not dancing at the part-tay...."

p.p.s. This is a good talk, in case you have extra study time :)

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/m-russell-ballard/abide-in-the-light-of-the-gospel/

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9/30/2022 First full day in the field (Curacao)

I just want you to know how much we love you! So excited to ask a million questions on pday-- whenever that is....

I am sure it's a lot right now to figure out- and adjust to- but we have all the confidence in the world in you! Heavenly Father will bless you as you dive into his work in your area. I already know you are a light where you are!

xoxox

Mama

we don't say a prayer without you in it!

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10/14/22

Oh Miles- I loved reading that and I will respond to it just like I did to Sadie and Emma's. It's such a good insight into your experience and your heart.

Start numbering the pages okay? It gets harder when there are more pages to organize on my end bc I print them so I can read them. (and I note what page I'm responding to) Sorry if this is old news to respond to but, I still want to validate that I read it all and process with you ♥

oct 12 Page 1

1. I'm glad the homesickness was a little less this last week, still there, but less. I bet when it initially hit, it felt like train hit you and that's probably so nornal- it's a lot to adjust to and I hope you've been gentle with yourself.

2. I used to tell Emma it's okay if that pang of homesickness is there the whole time- what a blessing to have something in your heart that makes it so hard to leave- but as you keep going, keep growing, keep learning- it won't feel like it is on the verge of taking over all the time. hang in there!

3. I hope zc was really good and a boost for you. I am sure it was fun for the Curaco elders to see you too

4. That worry you felt about your comp and the office elders or APs talking is real and that's normal. I hope that your comp will understand comp loyalty and build. It should be a safe place with your companion- you both will see each other at your bests and worsts. What dad told you is right- sure with us, let it out, in your journal, let it out (but don't keep your journal out in the open) but when anyone talks about someone else in a negative light- it really just makes the person saying it look small. All missionaries know that new missionaries feel homesick. Emma was just as homesick at month 18 as she was at month 1- it's all part of the deal and I hope he shows you a lot a grace about that... but no matter what is said or not said, other missionaries will see you striving and showing up and that's what counts... the Lord needs willingness and obedience-- He can work with that perfectly.

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5. About your interview- it's good you wanted to be upfront with him and also full of faith-- that's a perfect soft heart that can be motivated and receive counsel of a mission president who is called to have you under his stewardship. I love what you shared adn what he counseled with you. I don't think he tells every missionary what he told you- I am sure he reassures all that homsickness is normal. I don't think he patronizes missionaries trying to say things that he doesn't see.... his counsel and validfation, hopoefullyness and praise for you is yours. I love what he said about how he can tell that you are just that good kind of missionary. Hear those words over and over in your head. It's who you are, and the way you are navigating all of this tells him that.

6.As far as teh mission mental health person- I know, you're fine- and we're here for you, but keep that soft heart and if your mission president suggests it direcly, there's no shame in it. Emma had a couple apts but the main take away was that the counselor said, that what she's going through is normal and that she had good strategies to work it out-- that stay sane serve strong book helped a lot (don't know if you read that before you left- the reason we had it is bc Emma got it from the counselor when she went (in Hawaii). I think she only went once or twice. Then in Italy her mission president judged her poorly ( his issue not hers) and her comp kind of was disloyal and emma was referred to another counselor in that mission. The counselor was a good place to sort out her feelings, but she never felt like she really needed it- and the counselor again sent her away with , well I think you know what to do when you start to have all these feelings- and she didn't really need or want to go back. So she didn't. But I know what you are saying about "one of those missionareies" that need constant counseling- def not you- but my point in sharing this with you is that it's not a failure to use outside resources provided if needed-- but also, you have a lot of coping skills, a testimony of praeyer, and a patricatical blessing full of promises about who you are and what the Lord needs from you. Those spiritual gifts that you posess will be a blessing to you as you serve and as you struggle. Reread them. Take it to your Heavnely Father and dont' get too worked up abotu the big overhelming picture.... just do today- the best you can-- that's not your comps best or your AP's best- it's just your best-- that's all the Lord needs....and by the way, todays best might look different than tomorrows best- and that's okay. Remember to breathe in adn out deeply (think LaBron on the Calm app) and pray a lot, exercise, journal, search the scriptures, serve your companion and your neighbors and all thoes around you with a pure heart and let yourself process all the feelings, look for things to be grateful for (keep a running list)-- it's okay! Oh and Emma would say the same thing- she just needed to talk it out with "family" and she would power up again-- which is a blessing- but know that the Lord is there every day, every minute-- in a way that is so personal to you- take it all to Him- he's just wating to listne, to love, to pour out blessings, to sustain and to lift YOU!

7. I remember the girls saying it was hard in interviews with President when a comp went last- or even first-- it just feels like it's going to frame up how the mission president sees you- but trust him that part of his mantle in his calling as a mission president is to see in to your hearts and know what's what. Doesn't mean the picture he sees is accurate from someone else (and a mission president takes it with a grain of salt because he also knows the source) In a young mission, with young trainers, he knows that everyone is learning and everyone is doing their best-- He knows your heart and the way you communicated your desire to work hard and the way you recognize (and good job for sharing it with him) the way you are growing is all the reassurance he needs that you are one of the good ones-- trust me he sees it. The missionaries he worries about are the ones that get swallowed up in the homesickness to the point they can't function. You've already made great strides and even if you still have meltdowns- that's okay- you're working it out as your work through it. Be prayerful and the Lord will give you added strength in ALL things (homesickness, companion relations, focus, patience, etc)

So that's it for the journal response- thank you for sharing it with me-- it helps me so much to know your heart and to understand the things that you can't talk about really on a pday phone call. I share with dad the jist (I tell him about it, he doesn't read it) of your journal and I think it's good for us both to be able to pray more specifically and I think it helps dad to know better how to counsel with you and he likes that focus in his personal study because YOU are so imporant to us and this work is so critical and it's a blessing to feel included!

Thank you for your sweet note for dad's bday- it meant so much to him-- I tried to record the birthday things so you'd know how much it meant to him. It's so sweet for him to read that because those attributes are really the things he strives for the most and because we care so much about you kids and want most of all for you to draw close to the Savior, so you know Him and have His support and his attributes reflected in you-- that note from you just meant so much. All a parent needs to have total peace is to know that their kids cling to the Savior-- beasuse then no matter what, you'll alwasy know where to find peace and direction. - he got pretty emotional reading your note (and so did I hearing it). ♥

Keep up with the bug spray-- you can get more if you need it.

I am so proud of your cooking efforts-- no matter what you think about how rough your cooking skills are at this point, I am sure your comp is eating better since you got on the scene!

I love you so much! You are amazing to me to handle all of these changes and to dive in like you are-- You are "that kind of missionary and I love you!"

p.s. Did you ever get time to read that talk the 4th missionary that I sent you in the MTC-the one you sent back home in the box when you left- the really long talk? If you didn't I can email it to you-- it's long, but it's a really good one! Lots to think about-in it--I'll email it to you so you have it in case you didn't read it or want to refer back

p.p.s Here's a pretty simple chocolate chip reciepe. You said you can't preheat your oven bc you use a match but that didn't make sense to me-- just use the match and get it heating about 10 min before you put the cookies in-- it doesn't matter if you turn a knob or light a match to get it going, just let the oven heat up for a bit before you put cookies in. If you have two racks, rotate your sheets them half way through-- 4 minutes and then switch which cookies are on top and bottom and go another 4 minutes... tehn check them. Most people overbake cookies-- tehy shouldn't look wet- but teh edges shouldn't be brown at all when you take them out-- remember they can still cook a little on teh pan. (if you don't have vanilla, it doesn't matter)

Ingredients

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350 F.
Microwave the butter for about 40 seconds. Butter should be completely melted but shouldn't be hot.
In a large bowl, mix butter with the sugars until well-combined.
Stir in vanilla and egg until incorporated.
Add the flour, baking soda, and salt. Please read the recipe note about properly measuring flour.
Mix dough until just combined. Dough should be soft and a little sticky but not overly sticky.
Stir in chocolate chips.
Scoop out 1.5 tablespoons of dough (medium sized cookie dough ball) and place 2 inches apart on baking sheet.
Bake for 7-10 minutes, or until cookies are set. They will be puffy and still look a little underbaked in the middle.

Notes

Be sure to fluff and then scoop and sweep to measure the flour. Too much flour will result in a dry or crumbly cookie.
Don't over-bake the cookies, or you won't end up with soft cookies. Several people have said that they've needed to bake the cookies for longer. Since oven temps can vary, I suggest starting with the listed baking time and increasing the time as needed.

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Journal response Page 32/33 10/12/2022,

1. I’m glad you saw your comps personality change post interviews as possibly him recommitting and getting some good counsel from President. Keep giving him the benefit of the doubt… he’s still learning! I’m sorry about the ride with president and show off mode. Ugh. Sorry that is lame- you should ask him if you can visit those people he pointed out when you are a bike ride that way sometime…

2. Please be careful with the dogs- seriously if they are strays who knows if they have diseases or rabies and you don’t want to mess with that with a bite. Follow your comps lead on this- I wish I had sent you with Sadie’s dog whistle to deter them, but if they are even chasing you on a bike that wouldn’t have helped. Serpentine! Serpentine (you know like ride in figure 8’s to throw them off :0) Well first dog bite of the mission check that box- just remember you’ll be blessed and the sacrifices counted for all the persecution you endure- even from dogs!

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3. I’m so so proud of you for getting up and getting on your knees—that’s not easy but it is the RIGHT way to start your day and being obedient to the wake-up time will call down blessings for you…you might not always know what they are- but just remember the Lord’s compensatory blessings are always so much more than what we think they will be or what we’ve offered up for them

Page 35

4. I think your quiet example of being obedient matters… and when you have comp inventory, and it feels like a good time- maybe that’s something you can both commit to—you have to approach it gently and likely he didn’t have a trainer that made that important but even though you’re the newer missionary (he’s still new too) you can still have a big impact. I think you are handling it perfectly. There are lots of things missionaries might justify, just like regular church members justify why certain things don’t apply to them- but there is always a lost blessing, lost growth, lost opportunity to learn, to be, to feel what the Lord needs you to when you pass on the little things. Keep at it—it’s so easy not to, and so hard to change back if you start to let that stuff slide.

5. I’m sorry you don’t have a first mission experience like you’d imagined or hoped for. That’s hard and lame and while he is trying, I wish there was more to look up to. Hopefully he can still rise to the responsibility and as you keep trying to see the good and be the good, you’ll be a blessing in your companionship and to the Lord. As soon as you get bogged down (outside this journal space which is a healthy venting place) with it, it will just trip you up, consume your thoughts and not let you give him the patience and grace that you are learning to give. And don’t’ forget that there is something to learn from each companion. Keep looking for it, finding things that are good and kind, ways to love and ways to serve.

6. If you think about it how you are doing okay without sports, PlayStation, movies, motts (hahaha) that is really a blessing—like a little personal tender mercy that Heavenly Father is helping you to focus on the things that matter. I’m glad you miss us and it’s a blessing of a mission to develop this kind of bond and love because it will keep us all close even after the tag

I’m not sure how much my responses make sense because I just respond to what you have written, like we are just talking, so that’s why I put the page numbers so you can go back to where it was to figure out what I’m talking about if it’s confusing! Haha

I saw Zach left for the MTC this week. He’s going to do so great in Fiji—but right about now he’s settled in and figuring out that MTC food is not all that it was cracked up to be. 😉 You are a powerful example in his life— you have impact in that friendship that will help him be a better missionary.

Oh how I love you. Oh and I’m glad you have a a rice cooker. I’ll be on the lookout for rice recipies. Do they have cream of chicken soup at the store or sour cream? If they do and you mix those two things together you can make that cream sauce that is for Hawaiian haystacks- and you could layer whatever you have over rice—diced up ham, bacon bits, salad, corn etc.

Thank you for sharing your journal with me. I love knowing what’s on your heart! We are cheering for you, and so are legions of others on the other side of the veil- what you are doing is SO important and the Lord sees you!

Xoxo Mama

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10-16-22 page 36 journal response

Miles

You are doing so great at taking pictures (and journaling)

Thank you for both!

That Karaoke was fun to watch—I love seeing you interact with members.

I love how you turned a hard day into something good—I love that you are in tune with the spirit to know when to see who needs help (like the old man in his yard) and to lead out with your comp to say, “hey let’s go back and help.” That’s how you spread God’s love and Christ’s light- with the people and within your companionship.

It’s crazy to me how you are learning two languages at once and I hope you are noticing little ways that you are growing in both. Be patient with yourself. God wants you to succeed and will definitely give you what you need when you need it as He knows best- he is in the details and he has great plans for you.

So proud of my missionary. Hope your Sunday was a good day. Keep your chin up- we love you so much. Sadie finished, Emma finished, and you will also finish—and we’ll all be right here when you do. This time is consecrated for the Lord; and he will bless you over and over for your willingness to push through.

I didn’t go to church today, I am missing the sacrament—I had a horrible migraine Sat and it spilled over into Sunday. I tried to do my scripture study during that church time and I was reading in Moisah. Here were my two take aways—in Mosiah 5 go and circle how many times it says the word “name”…between verses 7-12. I think it’s 11. I started thinking about the name of Christ- it’s in our sacrament prayer, it’s how the Lord taught Adam and Eve “to call upon the name of the Lord”, it’s how an angel taught them about sacrifice, “thou shalt do all that do doest in the name of the son, and call upon God in the name of the son forevermore” It’s in our temple covenants about how we use the name of the Lord and don’t mock sacred things. It is the “name” by which salvation cometh- it just made me think about how central the name of the Savior is and why we take it upon ourselves in covenant and in renewing that covenant weekly… it’s powerful

The other take away for me this morning was in Mosiah 7:29…it was clear to me that the Lord takes us being obedient seriously. (also dc 82:10)

This afternoon Jack is coming over. He has some marine uniform pants we need to hem and we’ll probably get some cornhole in because I saw after next week we are in the high 50’s. I looked at your weather—it’s like the same as far as I can see- 80 at night and 86 during the day (though I know it feels hotter with humidity). It might be boring that it’s the same, but at least you know what to expect. We’re about to be in that place here where it’s too cold for shorts, but too warm for winter clothes—and you know, from past experience, that when the seasonal bins or bags get down, we commit- and the shorts go away. Hahaha.

Keep Emma in your prayers—she’s had a cold- kind of down for the weekend. It was good timing though bc it came on after her tests and classes- hopefully she feels up for Monday. Sadie told me to tell you to put bowls with water under your bed posts if it’s still bad—she got sick from bites—hers were like little welts, her feet got super swollen—from whatever was biting her so it’s no joke.

We are super excited to talk to you tomorrow and hear more about your week. You are in our hearts always—so so grateful for you. Keep giving it your all, the Lord can work MIRACLES when you do. And we will be right here to witness them!

Xxoxo

Mama

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Jounral response Oct 15^thPge 37

Dear Elder Miller I know this is a little backdated, but I still wanted to respond

1. Yay two months! 22 more to go!! I know that seems like a crazy amont- but day by day you are chipping away at it—this time is consecrated- keep doing all you can with what you can control to make it count!

2. As it gets closer you can figure out what transfer you’ll come home. July 30^th doesn’t really leave you more than 2 weeks to get ready to go… maybe June 30^th? Idk—we’ll just see- you want to give the Lord all the time you committed to- but you also have to be smart with school and what you need to get in order to make that happen. This time next year we’ll start making more plans

3. I’m glad your patricarical blessing is in your photo albumn- that’s a great place to keep a copy of it. I love what you shared in your lesson, about showing a pic of our family and wanting to explain that forever families are one of the most beautiful reasons we need this gospel! Even though you did it in English- I am sure it was powerful. Pretty soon language won’t even be an issue for you—and when that happens I’m going to remind you of how crazy of a blessing that is!

4. That is very sweet counsel and out the end not always being clear and at each step you’ll be guided… I love how you applied that you missionary life- it will probably always bring you comfort as you make big decisions in life.

5. I’m sorry about your comp not being loyal- he shouldn’t have said those things about your struggle on the phone with other missionaries. It’s also pretty rude to shut the door and then talk loud enough and be heard. That must have made you feel small and I’m sorry for that. He is trying to figure our how to navigate it too- and sometimes it’s easier to blame whatever is hard on someone else rather than lifting and showing grace. (but he still should have) I think exchanges is good for everyone. I want to tell you something- and I’ve been talking to Dad about it- so hopefully he’ll give you some good counsel about it soon, or maybe he has already but we tried so hard to encourage Sadie and Emma to not ever speak bad about their companion. Mostly we meant this in terms of among other missionaries because there will be plenty of opportunities to belittle- and it really says so much about the person who doesn’t drag their comp or their struggles in the mud, more than whatever is said. But the girls also took that to mean (I think) that they shouldn’t open up to an StL (zone leader in your case) or especially to their mission president. I feel like this really backfired for both of them- Sadie in AZ and Emma in Italy. Because they never shared some portion of what really went down, and then their comps went in and laid it all on the table and prob to make themselves seem more all together than their comp- the only information the mission president had was what their companion had said I think that led to Emma and Sadie being a little misjudged by their mission president. It’s not a shop stopper that they had to deal with that, but it made their interactions with him less powerful, and it was a stumbling block that didn’t really need to be there- but it was a little on the girls bc they never shared enough with their MP for him to know otherwise. Obviously he doesn’t need a tattle session, but I think you do yourself a disservice if you sugar coat or just don’t go into any detail about what is happening in your companionship. The best inspiration comes with information. How you go about it is important and I’ve asked dad to share some thoughts on that… I’ll remind him. Maybe it’s something like when your ZL (If you feel like you can trust him- which I hope you can bc he reports to the MP—or if you can’t, then in your emails to the MP or interview) you say something like, I have still been struggling with homesickness, but I am fully relying on the Savior and I feel closer to Him because of it. Im confident that as I keep progressing and try to be exactly obedient, and as the language keeps coming, I’ll be good. It’s on my heart and in my prayers and I there’s light ahead! (then maybe something like…) (keep in mind your comp might share that you’ve been calling home multiple times for birthdays—so you can say something like—I had two family birthdays last week, which was a blessing in the timing of that where I’m getting going to strengthen me but I’m committed to just calling on pdays going forward and know that will continue to be a strength.) But if you don’t say anything to your MP, then all he hears is from your comp who says you’ve been calling home and been homesick. See what I mean? Plus it helps the MP in pondering on next transfers etc. You can tell him that exchanges were really great—I loved seeing how missionary work looks in another area. I want to be on the same page with my companion, but sometimes that’s hard—I know he’s doing his best, but there’s a little bit of a different perspective on when wake up should be etc. I know I’m new and learning a ton, but I’m looking forward to feeling like we work as a team. You don’t have to worry about me President, I know what I committed to the Lord, and I’m grateful for the things I’m learning from my companion, both what missionary should look like, and maybe a little personal reflection on what I don’t want it to look like too. (maybe that’s too harsh- but if you don’t paint a little bit of a realistic picture, he won’t know what you are talking about if don’t share a little and you can be sure he’s hearing it from your comp on the other side) You can be honest with him , and still reassure like you can handle it- that lets him know more of what’s happening and if he asks clarifying questions in an interview, be specific. Otherwise just be honest and then positive. If you have a good relationship with your ZL, then on transfers ask him for suggestions as to how to deal with the things that you don’t understand (even generally) like good ideas to help a comp get up on time, or how to handle visits that seem a little on the flirty side…. A good ZL, will know that you are just wanting to start strong and might have some insights… even with homesickness- you can share it’s something you are working though, but that you know it will just get better and you just want to throw yourself into the work— It’s not weakness to work through things and I think it’ll be positive for him to see what you recognize and how high you are setting the bar, personally and your comp….navigate all of this with prayer- I just wanted to say it to you bc while I want you to be kind and take the higher road, I also want you to realize and utilize the resources in place and to not be labeled one way just bc the whole picture isn’t there. All that being said, your MP knows your comp is new, and he knows his vibe—and he will also be counting on you to be a good influence. But sharing a little of the struggle will help counterbalance what your comp shares. The rest is the spirt and that’s all you can do—don’t get too flustered—I just wanted to say all that more clearly than you just hearing from us, don’t ever speak ill of your comp- there’s a time and a place and with all other missionaries, you just build! I hope that all makes sense—you can share the bigger more honest picture in a weekly email or interview and then follow up that you will overcome and keep giving your best to the companionship, to the area and to the Lord.

Oct 16

6. Your entries aren’t depressing Miles they are honest. Which is healthy and it lets me know how it’s really going. I am so proud of you- I know it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done and that you’ll keep doing it because that’s what you promised to the Lord- but it’s okay if it’s rough. It’s supposed to be and there will be companionships and areas that are a tender mercy that keep you going for the ones that really test you. Whatever it looks like, He’s in it with you and He doesn’t leave you alone!

Okay that’s it for that two pages of journal—hopefully I didn’t ramble to a point where it doesn’t make sense—I’m sure dad will say the same thing in a more concise effective way. So glad to be his partner in all things ♥

I’ve got the other pages of your journal to read with the talk notes (which is awesome bc I just found out I am teaching RS in January and that talk of President Nelson’s is my talk to teach from so both your and dad’s insights will help me

I love you so so much! Keep giving it your Miles best—you can do this!! I know it!

Xoxo Mama

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Oct 19^th

1. It’s interesting that your exchanges with the other elders on St Nicholas you described as not one is entitled. That’s just an attitude because being out 2 transfers like they have, one like you have, or 3 like your comp all mean the same thing- you are all new- and more importantly you all have the same purpose- so I’m glad you got to be around some elders with that vibe

2. I’m glad they invested in you enough to get to know you a little. It’s interesting how important that makes someone feel…good to remember as you meet people and as you serve longer.

3. I’m glad your can visualize your mission being different in different areas and with different comps. I’m sorry this first one has been rough- but hang in there- keep looking for the good. For all that feels against you, you AND elder Lopez are needed in Noord right now!

Oct 20^th

4. I am sorry to read about Pres Lamprect’s mesg that you read some of. I hope that your comp can open up to you, but even if he doesn’t- it was sweet of you to have an added measure of charity.,..that’s what the Savior would offer.

Oct 23\ pg 41

5. I’m sorry you feel like a bystander at church—I wish it didn’t feel that way. Part of it is just feeling new, and adjusting and no one (not the members, not your mission president, not the Lord, and you shouldn’t expect it of yourself yet either) that you will be able to dive in with the language- but I’m sorry you feel on the periphery. It won’t always feel that way

6. I am sorry you aren’t offered the grace or love you deserve. I wish you companion knew your heart and willingness to go to work, that’d he’d be better at including you in it.

7. I am not sure if I missed an entry but I don’t see anything about exchanges with the Zone leaders—but that’s okay bc you can tell us about it tomorrow on pday

8. You are right that your mission president made inspired placements. Keep searching out that purpose—keep asking the Lord to show you what it is. Maybe Elder Lopez needs you more than you either of you know. Keep trusting the Lord. He will strengthen you. It’s totally okay that you had a breakdown and good you handled it the way you did. I’m sorry it all came to a head like that. I remember you sitting on the couch and us talking about a tough comp situation and you saying, I can deal with anyone- it won’t be that hard- and here it is, area one and it’s rough…and I’d love to say this will be your most challenging, but it probably won’t be. But it’s okay—it isn’t random, you are learning what you need to right now. As long as you keep relying on the Savior, He will find a way to work it all together for your good- for your companions good, for the good of the area. I hope you will still be prayerful about how to share the struggle and the strategies you continually are using when it’s interview time. You can share that your purpose in sharing isn’t to “tell” on what’s not going on, but for some added counsel in how to navigate concerns.

I went to a stake leadership training last week. They were talking a lot about missionary work and it was fun to see that there are 55 young missionaries serving currently in our stake. My heart just beamed bc I knew one of those 55 was MINE! Thank you for making this sacrifice; thank you for the example for your siblings, and the consecrated offering you are giving to the Savior. He will bless you for it—and the rest of your life, you’ll draw on these very days in Aruba- they are shaping you, they are showing the Lord that you are committed totally to His purposes while you wear that missionary tag. I also heard some remarks that really resonated with me that I thought I’d share. Here are some notes

“The Lord treats our time in service as loaves and fishes and will magnify it”

“If this is the greatest work, then we must be the greatest workers [missionaries]”

“We add power to people’s lives when we are in their homes”

There was a really good discussion on Helaman 14, and how mighty manifestations were extended for the Samuel the Lamanite and how that correlates to the promises given to us in this last conference by President Nelson about the miracles and the manifestations of power that we should expect in the coming days.

It was a good meeting- I wanted to share those few thoughts.

In my personal study this week I read Elder Holland’s talk, (from a BYU devotional) I might have printed it for you at the MTC, but in case I didn’t, it’s link is here- it’s called For Times of Trouble. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-holland/times-trouble/?fbclid=IwAR1lbeSnvZ3rqO4gfXSIxygzluIuIlYmdjdE1VDZ8b68ocCoVqAdw9Abqdc

For Times of Trouble

Jeffrey R. Holland

Trouble will come, but discouragement doesn't have to. If we work now to prepare ourselves through patient and f...

IN case you can’t look it up, I’ll send it to you in a separate email, and maybe you can print it out at the church to study.. I think it’d be a good one for you to read in personal study.

I love you Miles. You are doing what you promised you would, even though it’s asking more of you than you thought it might. The right path is always uphill!

Love you with all my heart! Mama

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Journal response Oct 24

1. I was so happy to read that you had a neat ending to a pday. I love love love that you remembered that thank you prayer—that is soooo important and I am sure it was a good thing to teach your companion- you STOP and thank Heavenly Father for those tender mercies, and the better you get at doing that, the more HE sends and the more you recognize it

2. I am happy your comp will work with you on waiting to find a bike part and to your suggestion for a thank you prayer. It might not be a perfect companionship, but there’s hope in it.

3. I love even after your comp started riding away you called out to the guy one more time—it’s such a perfect application of faith that you knew something was supposed to happen bc you’d already had an answer to prayer in your bike light. You keep calling down those kind of miracles.

4. Here’s my faith bc I haven’t even read what the next miracle is, I just read you called out again and then left to catch up with your comp, but I know there is one—

5. The dishes guy! The Lord will not deny your faith. Broken Papiamento and all, it doesn’t matter—NOTHING IS GOING TO FRUSTRATE GOD’S WORK IF YOU ARE WILLING, ACT ON PROMPTINGS, AND HAVE THE FAITH FOR THE MIRACLES TO DO HIS PURPOSES…

6. That reminds me of Elder Uctidorfs fourth floor last door story. I love it!!

7. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf spoke of faith — what it is, what it can and cannot do, and

Highlights from that talk: “what we must do to activate the power of faith in our lives.”

“Faith,” President Uchtdorf said, “is a strong conviction about something we believe — a conviction so strong that it moves us to do things that we otherwise might not do.”

He said non-believers ask how anyone can be certain of what they cannot see.

“What they fail to understand is that there are more ways to see than with our eyes; more ways to feel than with our hands, more ways to hear than with our ears,” President Uchtdorf said.

He said it’s something like the experience of a young girl who pointed out the sound of songbirds to her grandmother, who told the child she couldn’t hear so well. The little girl told her grandmother to “listen harder!”

“There are lessons in this story for both the nonbeliever and the believer,” President Uchtdorf said. “Just because we can’t hear something doesn’t mean there is nothing to hear. Two people can listen to the same message or read the same scripture, and one might feel the witness of the Spirit, while the other doesn’t.”

For anyone who wants to increase faith, perhaps telling them to listen differently is better than telling them to listen harder, President Uchtdorf said. “The Apostle Paul encourages us to seek the voice that speaks to our spirit, not just to our ears” (1 Corinthians 2:14).

The power and limits of faith

President Uchtdorf said sometimes it is not easy to develop faith in spiritual things while living in a physical world. But it is worth the effort, because the power of faith can be profound.

“Faith is powerful, and often it does result in miracles. But no matter how much faith we have, there are two things faith cannot do. For one, it cannot violate another person’s agency,” he said.

He spoke of a woman who prayed for years that her wayward daughter would return to the fold of Christ and felt discouraged that her prayers had seemingly gone unanswered. She needed to understand that, as painful as it might be for Heavenly Father, He will not force anyone to choose the path of righteousness.

“The second thing faith cannot do is force our will upon God,” President Uchtdorf said. “We cannot force God to comply with our desires — no matter how right we think we are or how sincerely we pray.”

Trust and faith

President Uchtdorf said, “The purpose of faith is not to change God’s will but to empower us to act on God’s will. Faith is trust — trust that God sees what we cannot, and that He knows what we do not. Sometimes, trusting our own vision and judgment is not enough.”

He spoke of his experience as an airline pilot. On days when he had to fly into thick fog or clouds and could see only a few feet ahead he relied on instruments that told him where he was and where he was headed. He listened to the voice of air traffic control and followed the guidance of someone with more accurate information than he had, someone he could not see but whom he had learned to trust in order to arrive safely at his destination.

Just keep knocking

“Those who are impatient, uncommitted, or careless may find faith to be elusive,” President Uchtdorf said. “Those who are easily discouraged or distracted may hardly experience it. Faith comes to the humble, the diligent, the enduring. It comes to those who pay the price of faithfulness.”

He spoke of two young missionaries serving in Europe in an area where there were few convert baptisms. They had the attitude that if no one listened to their message, it would not be because they had not given their best effort.

One day, they knocked on each door on the first floor of a four-story apartment building. No one would listen to them. They knocked on doors on the second and third floors, with the same result. They moved on to the fourth floor, where, at the last door, a young girl opened the door and then pleaded with her widowed mother to listen to them. The missionaries gave the mother a copy of the Book of Mormon, which she finished reading in a few days. She and her daughters were soon baptized.

The young woman who pleaded with her mother to listen to the missionaries is now President Uchtdorf’s wife, Harriet.

It shall be opened unto you

“In our search for enduring faith, in our quest to connect with God and His purposes, let us remember the Lord’s promise: ‘Knock, and it shall be opened unto you’ (Matthew 7:7).

“Will we give up after knocking on a door or two? A floor or two? …

“God ‘rewards those who earnestly seek him’ (Hebrews 11:6), but that reward is not usually behind the first door. We need to keep knocking.

8. Okay back to your journal- it’s like the best book I’ve ever read—just hanging on each word—

9. I love the fist pump in the air on your bike ride home—that’s so neat Miles. Angels were cheering (maybe first pumping) right along with you on the other side!!

10. Another thank you prayer ♥ Oh I love you. He’s going to continue to pour down blessings for you to thank Him for… as you keep seeking them, recognizing the source, and act on what He gives you

11. You are ABSOLUTELY needed right where you are. It’s so neat you understand how important the ONE is, a 17 year old, back turned to you, nighttime—needed that contact. However it plays out, however he uses his agency to listen or not, is on him, you share and invite….you are right- it was meant to be. Maybe you can get some youth in your ward/branch to come play basketball or soccer and you can invite this new friend. All things are POSSIBLE with God.

I know you might not feel like it, but you are a blessing to your area and your companionship. The spirit doesn’t speak Papiamento or Spanish- it speaks to our hearts and as you continue to grow and understand how you hear it, you’ll become so powerful in acting on it. Your heart is in the right place- your desire is strong, your ability is growing with the languages, you already know how to love and serve people. Can’t wait to hear what happens next. And, remember, Some days it won’t feel like all the pieces are coming together, but we can’t see all of God’s designs as they are being worked together—but this experience you’ve had, has been a sweet one because YOU had the FAITH to call down a miracle on a dark night in Noord. I hope that makes you feel so loved- and needed by the God of heaven and earth. Amazing!

Xoxo Mama

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10-25-2022 I’m so sorry that you took that fall… and I’m so glad that it wasn’t into cars. It sounds awful. I’m glad that you were able to get some help from the lady at the bar--=- that was sweet of her- My mama bear is going because it wasn’t your comp trying to help you. He’s in for a rough mission if this is how he is going to treat any companions, let alone someone he’s supposed to be training. It will bite him later, but for now it’s what you’ve got to deal with and I’m so sorry it’s so hard. You may not be able to save that shirt—dirt is hard to get out- if it didn’t all come out, just try washing it again on pday- maybe just a bit more bleach in it—you can treat spots with a tiny (don’t use too much or it will bubble up in the washer) but if you spot treat with dish soap (like what you wash the dishes with) it will help. It was important to wash it initially and I’m glad you stuck to your guns. That kinda backfired for your comp who was trying to punish you by telling you different things. I am sure he was frustrated with the whole situation too… but it would’ve been a good time for some kindness on his part. You can’ t control his moodiness or silent treatment-=- that’s a maturity problem and hopefully he figures it out sooner than later. Just keep doing your thing, be obedient and look for the good—it’s in there. I see elders sometimes who bike so far apart and it makes me sad—you can tell things just aren’t jiving. If he needs to lead on the bikes, let him. Just remember everything isn’t a contest- and so many times the Savior was humble when He could have retaliated. That takes a big person to not jump back, or ignore. Do whatever you can to calm the contention- because that vibe will drive the spirit away. Obviously, it takes two—but just do all you can to love and serve. I am sure if the sisters at your appt put stuff on it to clean it out then you are probably good. Maybe just do a night shower (if that happened today) to soak it—If the cuts are superficial, they’ll heal up. You can put some Aquaphor or Vaseline on any that are bigger- it’ll be good for them to be clean and air out over night. As far as the hole in your pants, that can be fixed with a patch and a dry iron (no steam). I’d just take them with your other pair to the senior sister. She’ll be happy to help you esp when she hears what happened. There are going to be days like this in your mission. It’s still God’s work. We are praying for you son, and for Elder Lopez- I hope you two can find your rhythm. Take it to your Heavenly Father in prayer—he knows your heart… and take time to listen after you pray and see what He gives you… I know it will be love- you are on His errand. You are brave! This too shall pass--- but while you are in it, know you are not alone. I love you with all my heart. I’m glad you are okay- and I know you will be all right. Start a new day off right- it’s hard to let go sometimes, but it’s better—let the light in and see what the spirit directs. Your time is too important not to. Tomorrow will be better. ♥

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

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10/27/22

You are doing everything you can bud, that's all you can do. You can't control your comps response or what he shares. Trust me that Preident knows what kind of missionary you are and will be. He also knows your companion and clearly he is aware of whatever is going on with him....I would say that him personally responding to a weekly email (and it's good you didn't read it- don't-- that would be hurtful to him, to you and just not helpful to anyone-- but on that same note-- you'd better hide your journal) Anyway him responding to your comp is more indicative of Elder Lopez needing coaching, care and extra love. Don't automatically assume he's ratting you out- you already know that he's gone through something hard with a friend. Just keep being positive-- that's where the hope is. President can ask more clarifying questions during your interview if he needs to.. and you can say it's been a struggle and not what you imagined a trainter/greenie relationship and experience would be but that you are relying on the Lord and learning all you can and striving to show love and kindness and live as close to the rules as you possibly can. *you can say that in an email too, if you want, or something like it) That's all you can do. Keep showing forgiveness and give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry about the trust thing- but you said it - you shouldn't be on the phone when he's in the shower or sleeping anyway so don't worry about that-- just be transparent. I think you should be careful about logging out of your email/messenger every time the rest of your entire mission-- just keep that secure.. tha's smart to always do that.

Your hand looks pretty bad. The ace bandage is a good idea. Soak it at night in warm water with a little bit of soap in the water... that will help the dirt loosen up. Try to let it breathe at night. You might want to put some vaseline or neosporin on it before you bandage it- or every once in awhile

Keep looking up Miles. If you are strivng to the missionary you should be, there's not going to be anything to report. Homesickness isn't a sin or a weakness- it's just part of the adjustment and your MP told you so. You are working through it and will be fine. The Lord knows your heart. Your mission president knows the situation he's put you in and you can lift and build.... consider it a trust to be where you are- and keep making the best of it. You mission is too short to let spite win or worry about things that aren't up to you.

I love you Miles. Couldn't be more proud.. keep talking to everyone you can.. let love win in your companionship and in your area.

Mama

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10/28/22

Hello to the best Elder we know!!

I'm glad you've had more exchanges- I wouldn't worry about getting a personal response-- you're a new missionary and it's good for the MP to connect with you. He loves you and prays for your success, in the work and in your companionship. You haven't been labeled as a "stuggling missionary". The fact that you care and want things to be more cohesive means you are a missionary that wants to be obedient and sets a high personal standard ♥ Don't forget that you MP also knows your companion- and he has the ablility to discern by the spirit what is going on and how he should counsel. He wants you both to thrive.

I'm glad you have a visison of what missionary work can look like- just be patient where you are and learn all you can. Keep trying your best with your companion-- he seems to have a willing heart for service so keep looking for those opportuniites.

I love you so much Miles. Keep at it-- day by day you are proving yourself to the Lord-- and to yourself- that you can and will do hard things in His name and in His cause ! You minister to Noord ,but you also minister to your companion, even if it feels like he isn't ministering back- he's trying. Keep a soft heart, life is happier that way- and when its time to go to a new area, new comp, you can go feeling like you tried every single day to offer grace, to be kind, to take the high road, to love, to be patient. (didn't say you were perfect, but if you just recommitt to try your best each day in your companionship, the Lord will bless you both)

I hope your hand is starting to feel less tender. It will prob be sore for a couple weeks. Keep it clean and let it breathe at night.

Here are a couple of quotes I read his week that I love-

"In this work there must be commitment. There must be devotion. We are engaged in a great eternal struggle that concerns the very souls of the sons and daughters of God. We are not losing. We are winning. We will continue to win if we will be faithful and true. We can do it. We must do it. We will do it. There is nothing the Lord has asked of us that in faith we cannot accomplish.” – Gordon B. Hinckley

“I am called of God. My authority is above that of the kings of the earth. By revelation I have been selected as a personal representative of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is my Master and he has chosen me to represent him. To stand in his place, to say and do what he himself would say and do if he personally were ministering to the very people to whom he has sent me. My voice is his voice, and my acts are his acts; my words are his words and my doctrine is his doctrine. My commission is to do what he wants done. To say what he wants said. To be a living modern witness in word and deed of the divinity of his great and marvelous latter-day work.” – Bruce R. McConkie

We are so grateful for you!

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Oh Miles- how sweet. It’s true about the power you bring into a home when you enter as the Lord’s missionaries…. how special. I love that you could feel the spirit so strongly—I think that’d be a beautiful tid bit to share with your MP in your weekly email, just the power fo the spirit you could feel during that blessing—it truly is God’s power- and to have a part in it in administering is a privilege is POWERFUL! I’m going to share that experience at Come Follow Me tonight. 😊 Dad will be so proud of you. Also what a blessing to have a tall guy around to do the high jobs, like changing light bulbs—that’s so neat you could serve them and that they would ask. It’s powerful to see faith like that- for them to have so little and give so much, for them to walk even with pain to be at church and have the Lord’s sacrament, and for his faith to call down a miracle with a priesthood blessing.

I sat in a missionary correlation meeting today, I have them every other week, bc my calling as 1^st counselor in RS Presidency I’m the one over missionary work, the rep from Relief Society—I watched two elders (one from Venezuela and one from California who was new and seemed quiet and unsure) and I watched how they interacted and it was beautiful to me—it made me want to help them more with the work. I feel a pull to do more to help to shoulder the work and to love, share, invite. That’s such a great thing about callings— like you as a missionary, it helps you want to give more, be more what the Savior would have you be.

I am glad you can find the good in your companionship. It doesn’t have to be all rainbows and sunshine to be effective and if you keep lingering on the positive things, you’ll find more of them. Still you can be real in this journal, it’s your place to let go. But I’m proud of you for seeking the good—and I’m glad you are finding it.

We will visit sister Danner tonight- She got through a pretty big procedure on Friday and will now be prepping for heart surgery next month. If you have time to email her tomorrow—just super short is great to let her know that a missionary in Aruba is praying for her, that’s all she needs.

We’re excited to talk to you tomorrow. Emma and Sadie are going to Younguists in Bountiful for a cousins dinner (with Ruby and the younguqist kids) I think it’s neat they do that monthly. Afterwards Emma and Sadie and Seth are going to a game night of a missionary Emma served with in Hawaii and who is also in Seth’s construction program so they both know him. It was cute bc Emma said “we’re going to have to leave the game night by 10pm though bc, I want to not be up too late, since tomorrow is our missionary day!”

In case you are wondering, Dad hurt his shoulder (not hip) on the trampoline, but he says “he’ll be fine” so don’t worry (though the whole scenario reminded me of when he was roughhousing in the pool with you and then we heard about the injury for a long time after. I guess we’re getting old. Cheers to dad for even jumping with the kids- I can’t do that.

We love you Elder Miller. I hope you’ve had a good Sunday. Your call will be the best part of our Halloween!!

X0xx0

Mama

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It was fun to see your latest pictures-- you are quite the cook, even though I didn't really help you prepare for that. I should have- I don't know why I didn't-- I kept thinking it'd be so different where you were- what foods you could get etc.

I'm proud of you for making it about your comp-= you can share that in an interview- a good way you are trying to show love and how he warms up when you do, even if it's back to moody at home. He's going to have a long mission if he keeps making it about him, but you never know what he's dealing with and just showing charity and extra patience is definitley the best response and most Christlike. Keep it up. Don't forget you have soccer aweseomeness in your genes-- I was pretty legit making varisty as a freshman at a big high school and I was new to that school too- just sayin' hahaha Soccer Skills are deep in you

I will share that page of your journal with Ave- she needs to hear it. I forgot how you know how that feels really well. Her big hangup is that it feels like going backwards since she was on JV last year. But it is what it is. TOday she seemed better- I am glad she'll get lots of playing time and after I see her team I'll tell you how big the divide is between her and her teamates-- she says it's huge- like one girl was hugging another girl as her defense and didn't know that was a foul. Ugh, that could be painful. Also hard bc all her games are now at 4:30 (she has to be there at 3:30) so that'll make it hard for Dad, but we blocked out some of his schedule where we could. Also sorta lame-- Middleton is now 5A- and Zoey is a freshman- so not sure what team she made (prob jv) but that's brutal for Avery. I hope they don't play each other if they are on diff teams that'll be good. Also annoying when the Middleton Millers come out to Rocky in fan force for that game just cheering another game for a middleton miller (blackwell) -- don't get me started!!! All you had to say will be a big blessing to her though and I think for sure she'll lead-- I think there are only 3 sophmores in the program-- one on each team. If the gap is big between her adn the rest of the team (not sure?) then they did need to leave someone down to handle the ball- but it's frustrating if you feel like your team can't do anything when you pass. Dad said, "ave, we don't pass" hahaha. Another tough thing is that they don't even have a coach (Rocky didn't have a frosh team last year bc most girl bball freshman/sophomores went to Owyhee. They have plans for a coach coming over from Lowell Scott Middle School (which immeadately makes her think it's not a good coach, btu that's not fair) but that coach won't be around for a couple weeks, so Ave feels like her coach isn't even going to see anythign or know what's what. Maybe it's good bc they'll praceitce with JV for awille... I think Ave's team only has 7 players anyway. TOday is her first practice and it's right after school every day so she leaves at 7 am and doesn't get home till 5 but at least she has her nights. I'll keep you posted on how it goes THanks for the journal pep talk though, that will mean so much to her

I have to go run to sit with Grham during his lesson. he is still fighting it-- it's so hard for EVERYONE. If this is his middle school meltdown though I can deal with it.

I love you so much!

It's Gerry Rickseckers bday today-- we'll go see him tonight-- I'll give him your love!

Mama

11/3/22

Elder Miller

I was so excited to see your pictures/journal, but when it's not there- I just figure you are extra busy and that's a good thing. It sounds like things have been moving along. Exciting that your meeting with teh guy in the cigar shop went well. What a sweet lesson to not judge a book by it's cover. It sounds like he was prepared-- and you responded exactly as you should have!!~! and the way you were able to testify to him of Jesus Christ was so beatiful to read... I could tell it was powerful- those are the missionary highs that help you survive so many missionary lows. You should write your expereince about that when you do your weekly email to your MP.

I'm sorry the other elders aren't getting up- and not rising to their leadership callings in that way to set the example of following the rules. All I know is that if you want unrestrited acess to God's power you have to give Him everything he's asked of you. He'll still bless you if you modify what you think that looks like (later wake up time or whatever) but you don't have the same binding outpouring of blessings as when you do. (DC 82:10) It is easy to say and hard to do, but during a mission, you've consecrated yourself to teh Lord, so I'd think you'd want to do EVERYTHING you could to have every blessing available to you proceed. Im so proud of you - esp when it'd be so easy to justify bc others arent doing it. I'm so excited for later in your mission when you get to train a new elder or motivate one that 's been out as long as you, that you'll have that habit solid, adn will be an example and together you can set joint goals of obedience. Right now you just have to do it because you have faith that God sees and will bless you for it. Try not to get mad when others sleep in, just be grateful you "get it" and try to see and record blessings that come to you. The more you focus on the mad the less you'll be able to recognize the rewards

I am so sorry about the watch. Honestly- it wasn't an expensive watch and I didn't think it'd last your whole mission- We have pictures of itand the message on the back! I guess you still have your Cali souvineer watch- but if you need another one, just get it with cash from your USAA, tell me how much it is and I'll move money in to reimburse for part of your Christmas-- I need to find things to do like that anyway. (Since I can't send you a Christmas package- we'll add some money to your USAA account- not a lot bc I know you can't start accumulating things- but maybe extra for a watch, or a tee shirt, or dinner out with your comp around Christmas time. When you do find a watch, don't get want too nice of a one so you are a target for robbing- but keep an eye out and if you see a good one, get it. And it's okay that you had a breakdown when it fell & broke- prob was the straw that broke the camels back--that's upsetting and you've been keeping it together, you probably just needed to have a good cry. I'm so proud of how you regroup and refocus. You keep going and over time you'll be more and more strengthened-- but it's okay to have that release of emotion now and again.

I loved your date notes- I thought that was fun to do- it was good for me and that talk is a pump up one. Dad said he read it on his mission too. I love your meal prep-- your cookies look amazing- esp compared to teh muffin top ones from before! I'm glad you can make treats like that-- don't forget you can freeze the dough balls to thaw and make anytime.

It's nice your mision president takes the time to respond-I'm sure he won't always do that- not weekly probably, but it's sure nice that he can and has- He loves you Miles and I know he knows your potential in this mission

little updates from here- not a ton is going on-- Lainey is in puzzle mode- has it spread out over the dining room table on the end with the doors- which works bc we don't use that side. She's like Sadie with her books, she dissappears with that puzzle and it's hard to pull her away

Graham was invited with all the youth in the ward to theMadsens (people that live by the mailboxes) for a youth movie night- but he decided to pass- opted for popcorn and movie here-- which was fine with us-- seemed a little young for the boy girl movie party- but it wouldv'e been good too-- all LDS kids, and a PG movie-- but he still doesn't really have a buddy whcih makes me sad. Update... I had to leave this email and come back to it- apparently he is made bc we had chciken pot pie for dinner and he doesn't like our family movie choice so he's going to the movie party. (preteen angst in full display) that's okay- I hope he has fun- I feel bad htough bc even though there are some kids his age, they are obnoxious and immature and dad and I aren't really looking to foster those freindships. Hopefully there are some boys there tonigth and it's not just the 15 year old Madsen girl and her friends.

Dad told me he talked with the bishop adn in January they are going to move him up with the Teachers/Priests- I think those two older quorums do everything together- but I was super glad about that bc I wanted him to be in with Graham as he moves up into Teachers, not have dad be with the Deacons still without him.... esp bc the two kids moving up into teachers with him one is Riley (super squirely ringleader kind of a dufus) and Scotlin Madsen (also goofy, and immature) So that'll be good. It will also mean dad will be in there with Cache a little (even though Cache never goes to mutual) I just think that will be good. Keep it on the downlow-- dad doesn't want to talk about it till he is released from Deacons and called into the older group- and he esp doesn't want Graham to know till it's offifial.... which prob won't be till January- but I think Dad has been a good influcence on those deacons and has connected with them finally. Last week they did service raking leaves and he took them for Frostys after... a Frosty is the way to a Deacon's heart haha

Avery has survived her first bball week, still has practice tomorrow-- every Sat actually. Today they had her practice with JV, because they were short a player and needed 10 to scrimmage-- but still, it's a nod to be asked to play up, even if mostly as a defender so they can work on their plays. I think it's been a little rough-- and I'm really hoping the divide between where Ave thinks she is and where the others are is as big as she says, and not just her imagining it-- even if it isn't- I think it'll be a hard season, like a prep season for a better spot next year, and for sure she'll get lots of playing time and learn to be more dominant, which both will be good for next year- Also Marianne called and talked to dad today- he said she asked about avery, but the call felt more like Marianne telling him about Zoey (freshman) anyway she made Middleton's varisty so that's going to be a burn for Ave-- not sure when dad will tell her that- but I'm glad it's out there so we don't have to answer and ask those questions next time we're in Middleton. Marianne said there were only 26 girls taht went out for middleton bball, and no seniors on varisty, so that makes sense, and Zoey is a good basketball player- but it's just hard bc she's also a year younger than Avery and isn't going backwards like Ave is on teams/.. but whatever. I have these moments where I can see how amazingly confident you kids are with all these moves and it's like that with basketball, she's resilant, you were too- you just roll with it and don't let it take over or deter you from other good things or being your best. When I see that in action, it breaks my heart that you have to expereince these hard things but I can also see little glimpses of how it's going to ultimately help you to be more conifident, able to stand on your own, face scary things, reinvent yourself and lead out.

Emma seems to be doing well at school, she likes it, but likes home more. I think it gets tiring- just the social pressure. She's had some roommate drama and a boyfriend of a roommate struggle with some issues that have been touchy- so after awhile, when it isn't your family, you probably just don't want to own it all and escape. I think she's really doing well in school and I'm glad she's had this semester to buckle down and set a pattern for her studying and her grades before she gets into the heart eyes phase of things. She says there's a ton of pressure to find someone and get married- which is what's next, but shouldn't overtake everything else... not having a significant other then plays into insecurities or settleing- so there's a difficult balance, but I think she's navigating it pretty well. She goes to insitute weekly which I think is so great, because that's extra... but she says she just likes it and also likes having something to do, Win win. She called Dean at Louies this week and with her time off from classes around thanksgiving she's going to work the whole week of Thanksgivngn and she says she can earn back what she's spent so far on food/eating out so that'll be a blessing. Dean was thrilled, of course. We're having our Alliance work party there this year! I'm looking forward to that. Liv (olivia taylor) is going through the temple over Thanksgiving which is neat because it's here so we'll be able to go- and Emma esp is helping her, buyiing garments and being her overall safeplace- I think it's a blessing though for Emma to work through some of her own thoughts about it. I don't know if you have time on Pday- but it might be sweet to send LIv an email something like you heard she was going through the temple soon-- maybe some encouragement or your thoughts-- I don't think she has really any super support- not from her mom (not a member) or her dad (not really active and not temple worthy) but she does have her step mom Jana, who I think will be her escort. I am not sure emma fully realizes her impact-- an email to emma about that might be neat too-- just to help her know she is influential in Liv's spiritual journey. Dad and I and Emma (and maybe Sadie and Seth depending on when it is over the break) will be there when she goes through. I am so proud of her choice to choose these things and her missionary service- it's a big deal for anyone- but it's pretty awesome in her case without support really-- and it will be a gamechanger for her. I think it will also help her grow up a little, which she needs-- just all in all, I'm happy for her.

Sadie adn Seth are doing well. They have been freezing in their little apt- no heater, just one space heater, so I got one more that's a little nicer that will keep a set temp for them from Costco- so hopefully that helps. She is working at the pizza place on M and W and Seth has had a new job for about a month now at a local homebuilder that he likes adn is really good experience. They are coming for Thanksgivng, but maybe just like Tues- Sunday. Also Seth's sister, Jessica gets home from her mission I think next week. Sadie and Seth arranged to do a session at the Meridian Temple the following week when they are here with Seths parents and some siblings-- so that will be fun for Seth to see his newly returned sister, ( I think he's pretty close to her relationshipwise) and for Sadie to meet her for the first time-- she left on her mission right when Seth got home. She'll be down at BYU in January I think.

The pups are doing well. They are great company for me. My calling keeps me pretty busy. I finished up Christmas shopping so that's nice- one less thing to worry about in December. Dad will be getting his usual- books and long sleeve surf shirts. hahaha- oh wait, he needs a range finder (he lost his at that family golf deal in Utah. Ugh) Dad will be getting a range finder and surf shirts. Don't tell him :)

We are headed to Sister Danner's tomrrow - she's been in Meridian, but says her house in Nampa has gone to trash (you can imagine) I don't know why her adult kids can't clean and declutter- but whatever-- she needs help so we're going out tomorrow afternoon and hopefully she'll sit still and direct us what to do-- I think it will be cleaning the kitchen and dusting everywhere. I'll think of you, that's a small service comapred to the chunk of time you dedicate to it, but it proabbly does open doors.

Hopefully you'll go back by that bar sometime-- it's okay that you couldn't go right back, just stick to that impression you had that you should go back, because that was the spirit whispering to you, so when you can- do it!

okay- better run. I love you so so much! You are in my thoughts every hour every day... and in all of our prayers. We love your pictures. Dad says you need a haircut :) that it's getting a little shaggy on the sides. (harsh) Hopefully you get soemone better than your MTC barber. :) Tomorrow is the bSu BY game but it's on FS2- he needs to check if we get it- It will be a lame game-- it's no fun to win by a lot! I'll keep you posted. Just remember, Byu is the Lord's school. Go cougs. haha- no one here (or Emma or Sadie) want BYU to win and theres about 1% chance they even could so don't feel like you are missing out-- all sports seem to have gone in to lame limbo while you are gone-- maybe a blessing of your service!

xoxoxo

Here's a good quote and some Lion love for you (Graham still wears that shirt to bed ♥) Keep being great.... that is what you are!

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11/5/22

I guess by now you have the transfer document. I'll be excited to hear- but yes, expect that you'll stay the same- if they are adding a trio, I don't see them adding to a companionship that has struggled a little bit. That's not your fault or his fault- it just is what it is. I am sure president was hoping that your comp would step up a little more-- and maybe he is in a lot of ways that you don't know about because you didn't see him where he was when he started. Sometimes callings help us rise, sometimes they are because the calling needs a stalwart-- there's so many factors and it's in the Lord's hands. I think you have learned how to appease the situation and as you keep trying to make the best of it- and forgive and have a humble heart, you're learning so many good things-- rough start, but good things that will be a blessing for you- and a transfer that will be inevitable right before Christmas will be a good thing to look forward to. Just try to leave each comp better than you found him. Sometimes you won't know your influence exactly but it's there. Showing love always wins, being kind always wins...it's so hard- even in our family where we love each other like crazy it's sometimes hard to give the other person a break. But we keep trying, keep forgiving, keep growing- each day is a new start. I think it's awesome how so much of what you learn on a mission is about your own personality, your own testimony- people skills, how to handle awkardness, other languages, dealing with all sorts of things outsdie of your bubble that are so good to learn now... it'll help you the rest of your life with roommates, dating, school sitautions, your carreer, your marriage, your parenting, your calllings-- (Romans 8:28) "And we know that all things work together for good. to them that love God, to them who are the called. according to his purpose"

I'll show Emma your banana yogurt on the chat and your lunch looks good-- what is that a tuna pita on fried torilla?

Here's your BYU BSU update (though maybe I shouldn't) It's 3rd q and BYU is holding it closer than we thought-- 10-14 BSU in the lead 2 min left in 3rd quarter . I just saw a picture jared wheeler texted dad from the game of jared and Uncle Kyle- they must've run into each other there (we are trying to watch it at home on the ipad but I guess jared and Kyle are at the game. Anwyay- guess who has a BYU hat on? KYLE. interesting. Ajyway Jared took a jab at you in fun and said< "elder Miller is going to love Kyle in a BYU hat" hahaha

We went to the BOISE fairgrounds today to the Ski swap- Avery's bindings are broken and old and Emma has no ski equipment. So we found both (new) but way discounted. Got it for them for Christmas. (Don't tell Emma) We'll get you some new boots/gear too but prob the Christmas before you get home ♥ Don't worry. There's lots of shredding to do in the future. Right now your weather isn't anything like ski weather! Here it is feeling more that way- we had such a mellow long fall, it's time for the cold and I'm ready- except that dad likes the house too hot for my preference. But we'll work it out. We still don't have our bed and so our blanket and bedding situation is kinda skeewampus.. most nights he sleeps with extra blankets and dogs on either side like mini heaters and I sleep with just a sheet. I'm anxous to get our bed and get that room finished-- it's been in limbo for a long time! Hopefully before Christmas!

I'm excited to hear when your next lesson is with the cigar shop guy- maybe next Wednesday? I'm not sure what your exercise looks like- hopefully you're working in pushups - you'll be so glad when you get home if you have that habit and taht strength- but it sounds like you are getting lots of workouts with service! I can just imagine how hard you work and I am so proud of you!

21-17 BSU 9 min left in fourth- I'll post blue or orange hearts in the chat at game end so you know who wins. Of course I'm hoping for blue hearts, but I know you'll want an orange one. Just dont' talk about it in your weekly email, okay-- unless it's to say "you heard that"......but you should prob exercise some humililty if your bronos do get the win- being a missionary and all haahah (no seriously)

I love you so much. I hope this email wasn't a distraction. You are giving your whole heart to the Lord right now and He will bless you for it!

Holly

www.myalliancedentalcare.com

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11-6-2022

Elder Miller

Earlier today I was telling Graham and Lainey who were struggling with the tail end of our fast (waiting till 4pm) to think of who and what they were fasting for. We talked about how you are fasting for the same things- and about the challenges you have added to that in comfort and break the fast meal, just teh things that make your situtation an act of faith on every level etc... Grhaam says, "yeah, that's hard, but it'll be hard for me too when it's my turn!" But then I saw him having a personal prayer- and so did Lainey- :)

It was fun to see your journal in the pictures....and to find out about transfers- Well, we pretty much knew that about transfers. I'm sad that you won't get to interact with as many misionaries with it being two districts, but hopefully you'll enjoy the ones you are with mostly, and maybe you can all join together both distrcits every once in awhile- esp like around Thanksgiving time-- I know you don't celebrate it there- but maybe the senior couple will have you over. I love that you reached out in kindness to your comp after you got the news- I'm sorry he didn't reciprocate it as equally, and that he processes with highs and lows, but keep being a light. He's blessed to have a companion who wants to work and will follow promptings-- the Lord knows you area and is preparing people. It's good you can continue to love and fellowship the ones you are working with. Keep trusting your Heavenly Father to bless your companionship=-- He wants it to work and for there to be unity as much as you do!

We went to tithing settlement today- Bishop tuft reads your emails and sends his best.

We also visited Sherron Danner . Her surgery date is 11/30 She asked dad to give her a blessing closer to her surgery. I think that will be special for her and for dad.

We're so excited to talk to you tomrrow. I hope you've got something fun planed for your day, too. Pday is a good mix up to your week. I bet you go to bed so tired every night with all you do!

Oh here's an easy oatmeal cookie recipe- I don't know if you have oats at the store, but I wanted to send this to you tongiht, in case you shop before I talk to you :) I think you can get them bc you made Sadie's protein oat balls.

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Easy Oatmeal Cookies

prep time 10 MINUTES

cook time 10 MINUTES

total time 20 MINUTES

FAST and EASY oatmeal cookies that are perfectly thick with chewy edges and soft centers! One bowl to wash, no mixer to drag out, and no waiting around!

INGREDIENTS

1 large egg
1/2 cup unsalted butter (1 stick), very soft
1/2 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups old-fashioned whole rolled oats (not instant or quick cook)
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, plus more for after baking (or substitute with raisins, walnuts, etc.)

INSTRUCTIONS

Preheat oven to 350F, line a baking sheet with a Silpat or spray with cooking spray; set aside.
To a large bowl, add the egg, butter, sugars, vanilla, and mix with a spoon aggressively for about 90 seconds, or until smooth and slightly fluffed, i.e. your bicep and shoulder should be burning if you’ve mixed well enough.

Add the oats, flour, baking soda, salt, and stir to combine.
Add the chocolate chips and stir to combine.
Using a 2-tablespoon cookie scoop, form mounds and place on prepared baking sheet spaced about 2 inches apart (I baked 12 cookies on the first sheet)
Bake for about 10 to 13 minutes (short for super soft cookies, longer for more well-done cookies), or until edges have set and tops are just set, even if slightly undercooked, pale, and glossy in the center; don’t overbake. Cookies firm up as they cool.
Immediately upon taking the baking sheet out of the oven, add about 5 additional chocolate chips per cookie. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for about 10 minutes before serving. I let them cool on the baking sheet and don’t use a rack.

NOTES

Cookies will keep airtight at room temperature for up to 1 week or in the freezer for up to 6 months.

Alternatively, unbaked cookie dough can be stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 5 days, or in the freezer for up to 4 months, so you may consider baking only as many cookies as desired and save the remaining dough to be baked in the future when desired

I love you Miles-- You inspire me every day!

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11-8-22

Response 11/8/2022

I think it’s really great you didn’t make too big of a deal out of the hair cut ordeal bc if you had, it might’ve made that elder who offered feel really bad. I think it’s good you just got it to a buzz- it’ll take a while to grow out, but just use gel or something and try to get to go a direction as it grows- you are so handsome bud, the haircut isn’t a big deal. I bet it’s nice just feeling cooler and not having helmet hair. Anyway- don’t be camera shy now—just own it and move on in your life- it’s not that big of a deal, really.

The zoo pics are neat—that had some cool animals…looked like the camel was going to get you… I just think it’s good to break up the routine on pdays. Your comp and the phone—it shouldn’t be so hard—and I think maybe he’s just tripped up on him being the trainer so he doesn’t give you the consideration he should with things like that. I am sorry about the social cues. It’s crazy how some people are totally oblivious to them.

I am concerned for the lack of cohesiveness in your companionship, but you are doing all the things I could even think of to help—the first of which is just show love. I think your comp might underestimate you bc he was called as the trainer- but he’s new too and no matter how much time any missionary has- you all have the same commission and same authority and same purpose- I am not sure what you can do to fix that, but I think Emma is right about finding time in a companionship inventory to make helpful suggestions like that at least lessons in English, should feel more like a partnership. But you’re going to have to decide what’s worth bringing up and choose your battles. Even though it’s a shorter transfer, your time is precious, so you can’t just bide your time until this transfer is over to operate as closely to the spirit and in unity as is possible, at least when teaching. You need ALL hands on deck and equally participating to receive the promptings and be most effective as you do your work and as you strive to meet the mission goal of a white Christmas

I read a couple of good talks this morning- I’ll send them to you in a separate email so you can keep them in your inbox to reference later if you want to read or print them

Tonight I had 12 ministering interviews for Relief Society-(and more later this week) it’s good to get to know the sisters in the ward better that way. I shared this sweet quote with each of them as we finished the interview and I loved it- it doesn’t really apply to you as a missionary, but it’s a sweet quote about blessings the Lord has given women and you never know when you might have reason to share it.’ Anyway it was sweet to see tender each sister would get as she read it outloud- it was a tender thing to feel that emotion in connection with it.

I’m so happy that the dishes guy kept his apt and that it went well. You were directed to him- and whatever your can share and invite him to do will bless him. Sometimes that leads all the way to the waters of baptism and other times it is just planting seeds of faith- but God is in the details and he works it out in His timing. It is a privilege to be partnering with God—think of that! Partnering with God that is your full time job and heart’s purpose.

Tomorrow Wed should be your lesson with Benjamin! I’m hopeful for that. Can’t wait to hear

Tonight for mutual Graham has week 1 of 2 group lessons in swing dancing. (this week and next week for mutual too with another ward) Partnering up, dancing- he wasn’t dead set against it- but it will be interesting to see how it went…..hahahaha

Also found out Viry is coming … as usual she wants to “surprise the kids” but I hope the kids act “surprised enough “ like I think I should tell them so they react better—maybe I will idk. Amway she’s told me she’s coming on Friday WITH HER HUSBAND. Dad goes, “well there goes our weekend”. I have no idea what we’ll do with them on Saturday—maybe Big Al’s – Idk but it’s too cold to be outside….. I think it could be a little awkward, but it’s prob time that we meet him. He’s staying until Sunday and then Viry is going to keep staying here until after Thanksgiving. (she’s staying with us until the 22^nd when Sadie and Seth come—and then sleeping at her aunts until the end of the month. Whoa, I know. She got laid off at work, so she’s got time, but that’s a long time to be away from her husband….and a long time to be a guest. Love to have her but Dad is already stressed about me making bark and her making Pico—because she loves to bake when she comes and it always seems to bump into dad’s diet plan.. (that’ll be tricky to navigate between the two and I feel like I can’t win) anyway on Monday, you’ll be able to talk to her too which will be good – she prob won’t be on at first--and I’ll have to juggle the time a little bit- but don’t’ worry I’ll make time for just me and you at the end.

Tomorrow it’s supposed to snow. We need some time to give her some snow driving practice- but that’s not going to be tomorrow—don’t worry I’ll take her in the truck. Kids have day 2 of HSB. It was pretty good the first day- lots of drills. Really focused on footwork and they got a good sweat going so all in all I think it’s going to be good and we’ll try to do it 2x a week.

I’m going to try to send this off in case you have a chance to read it tonight—I love you Miles. Every day matters.

Xoxoxo Mama

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11/10

Hard days are probably more the norm than not, but it's that way for every missionary, esp the ones that care. The fact that feeling unproducitve bothers you is a sign that your heart is in it and you know how important your work is. Dig deep and as your mission president says, keep that fishing line in the water!

Oh Benjamin! Maybe because of the rain, his shop isn't busy so he just shuts down for the day- but if he only understood what he's missing out on! Don't give up! Maybe try texting him some uplifting thoughts or a scripture to read and tell him your are really excited about next week! It's okay if you tell him how much it means and that you are really looking forward to it. Sometimes making it personal makes it more important to someone else. At the end of the day, all you can do is love share invite- but you can show love via text until you get another opportunity to invite.

I'm so glad you enjoyed mission devoltional. And there probably is some specific insight for your companionship- but also for your area-- that the MP sees the focus on service (which is a good thing) but is maybe a little out of balance. Your entire area needed that counsel. Probably mulitple areas needed that counsel.

Because you had mentioned your MP, I thought at first you were going to write about an email from him, so I saw it in your inbox and read it- I hope that's okay- I don't read things without you inviting me to- and later when I saw that your journal was about mission devotional and not that email, I worreid if I shouldn't have opened that email. I wanted to tell you I had- and I think I'll share it with dad, if that's okay- I liked your MP's counsel so much and maybe dad can think of some ways that you can put into action what he's asking of you. (which is really what the Lord is asking). the main takeaway I got from it was that you, Elder Miller, need to be bold. I know dealing with your comps drama or reaction might make you not want to bother- but you don't have time to waste tip toeing around his moods. The counsel from the devotional was clear- about how you need to be spending your time and prioritizing your efforts TOGETHER. What he said in that devotional can back you and makes everything you plan togheter important and equal.

On a side note (that I wouldn't share with your comp) is that in that email it felt to me like President was trying to empower you to lead out. Without him saying it, I get the jist that he wants you to step up and be an equal part of your planning and your plan. I knwo that you're dealing with some "I'm the trainer machismo" but still, like Presdient said, "you've been out a month. " You know what needs to happen- he's laid it out- personally he's given you a road map with PMG, adn you need to tackle it with your companion. What's the worst he can complain about, that you are wanting to work too hard, follow PMG, or find someone for your white chrismtas? I know you have to keep the peace or at least not allow the spirit to be driven out- but you can't do what you need to do in your companionship or in your area without tackling that counsel. It's neat how you said that what President shared motivated you-- it needs to motivate your companionship.

Reading between the lines, I hear your president needing you to not take a back seat- doing that with love and humilty is tricky, and you won't do it perfectly everytime, and of course you are still learning and there's trainnig to do- but clearly (and on the downlow) it's your comp that needs some motivating- look for the good and the willingess in him and build upon it. i feel like his assignment in training is as much to help him as it was to help you, and given whatever pieces that you don't even know about, I'd say there's a big trust there from President to have you be able to discern this, and do whatever you can to love and lift and ELEVATE. Those things have nothing to do with how long someone has been a missionary or what your calling is. I loved the part where he said, "Part of that is setting goals on how many people you are going to talk to each day. I know that if you both commit to just that one thing, you will find people to teach." So test that. Do that. Share with your companion that part of counsel from your email from him. There's nothing threatening in that- it's just good counsel for your companionship. Insist on making that daily goal and see what happens and what changes and then you can report back on it.

Remember that sweet part in your patriartical blessing about leadership-- it's not bossy and dominering=- it's quiet and steady and focused on what the goals are. You may not be able to feel like you lead in your companion ship, but like your MP says, "you've been out a transfer" so I hear that like lead yourself-- lead out in what you can- speak up, and be willing to risk moods or whatever for the sake of keeping that fishing line in the water!

Maybe you could say we need to do KFC on a pday so that we have more time on other days- but maybe that's worth letting go of.... there's things that have to give and you need to pick your battles... just pick ones that lead to an action that is inline with your mission goals. Your suggestions are as valid as his. He is your trainer, but that doesn't give him an automatic veto power, either. Keep falling back on that counsel from your MP, make those things important enough to standby. You can pretty much bet that your MP is giving him counsel about more planning together as a companionship-- he's not just telling you that-- so use that and maybe if you feel a little more involved in your daily plan, you'll have a little more peace.

Also I was thinking about when Viry's here- don't get too stressed- she's not an early riser. so most of the time it'll just be us and you can take as along as you have and I'll protect the time. If she does hop on-I'll keep it quick- I won't add her to the chat, or anything. got you Miles! ♥

The kids did great on their HSB trainnig yesterday- I'll upload some little videos. Graham is getting a little "dancier" with his hesitation, skip step and fakes-- lots of room to grow but the fundamentals are good. Yesterday there were two little kids like maybe 6-8 year olds in their session. it doesn't really matter bc you do the drills and improve against yourself=- and the coach will tell G and L they have to get 8 buckets before tehy are done vs teh others 6 or 4. Next week there's a triple thread HSB session that we'll try and see what that's like. It's nice you can pick the days that work- we're trying to get to it 2x a week.

Dad and I will be at the temple tonight and I'll put your name on the prayer roll. I find so much comfort hearing missionaries as a part of prayers given in the prayer circle.

I love you MIles. Own the day- the Lord needs YOU!

xoxo Mama

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11-11-22

I think my favorite thing in that journal entry was that you looked for and saw the good-- and God's hands. I'm so glad you didn't ask your comp for permission to get the sunglasses' guy's attention-- that is bold and it was the right thing to do- just kind- and normal and natural and so helpful to that guy, but also just shed's such a postiive light for anyone in that intersecetion on what missionaries do. Someone that saw that will one day have another encounter with a missionary and might be more open to it because of that expereince. That's what the girls are talking about when they say "talk to everyone" You just don't know all the ways the Lord is working things out, but He is aware of each of His children! And His gathering isn't happening in big sweeping movements, it's one by one.

Also so neat about the youth activity. I am sure your comp loved that- I saw he was into different dancing on his fb profile-so I bet he really enjoyed that- and maybe a little werid to go there as missionaries, but wow what a blessing you did-- that you were able to connect with those youth and be the bridge that helps them connect or feel a little more a part of things... I love that Miles. I love how you let it be fun. How you played back with them and made them feel important and noticed-- and that you could engage them with other youth. That's such a big deal-- what if they'd finally come and no one had intereacted, assuming they weren't nice or whatever- and they'd left feeling on the outside of teh circle.... it's a big big deal and my heart is so happy that you are condifident enough, capeble of seeing a need, and kind enough to be genuine. Every day of your mission isn't about you...and I know you know that- and as you keep acting on every impression to look outside, you'll find so much purpose and joy!

Oh I am just proud of you and grateful you had a good day yesterday-- the key is finding the wins- not that the whole day will be one, but looking for the little wins that keep you going, and keep you knowing that God is working through you if you let Him. Thank you for writing out and sharing those details!

Viry and Nathan came yesterday about lunchtime. It's been nice to have them- but I'm kind of over it already. Everyone feels a little on edge. We're not the best hosts :) but hopefully our guests don't know it. Nathan is really nice-- super chill- easy to talk to, not overly talkative, kind, and attentive to Viry-- they are a good match and it's nice to finally meet him. He leaves Sunday morning to drive back and she'll stay here for ???? through Thanksgiving I guess. I think it's a little werid she'd be apart from him so long, and from their daughter Lelia-- but in some ways Viry has always seemed a little immature that way- like it's about her most of all. I think she just needs some comfort time. She's turned the MTC desk into diamond painting central. Nathan played some xbox but mostly nintendo switch with Graham today- (he's a gamer and I think G has missed having a video game buddy) We went to the Village for lunch- fountain was pretty, Christmas is going up. Had pizza at Grimaldis- dad likes their thin crust- reminds me of your taco tortiallas in your picture, I like a little more crust but it was fun to go and someting to do with company.. Tonight they are eating at her Aunts in Caldwell so a little break while Nathan gets to meet her extended family. Dad took A and G to do temple baptsims.

I got a text today from Drew Youngquist-- I guess his family is going to the bahamaas for THanksgiving and he can't go bc of work or school (he'd talked to teh girls about this one time tehy were in Bountiful for cousins dinner) anyway- he texted me today asking if he can join us for Thanksgiving-- so our group is getting more mixed-- Seth, Sadie, Emma, Drew, Kathryn, Viry and the rest of us. I should probably text Alma and invite her, I'm just out of beds-- but I could put an airmattress in my room....I'll check with dad on that.

I was thinking that you should try to find some peperoni's- because if you could, and some pizza sauce, or even seasoned tomatoe sauce (with garlic salt) you could make GG's italian quesadillas with cheese, pizza sauce and pepperoinis for lunch one day. Your tacos looked good!

I hope your companionship inventories are going okay and that you are finding peace and progress. And a balance with service and finding. Put your faith in your MP's counsel and your heart into the social media finding that your MP president is encouraging,. The Lord is going to respond to his prayers, like He does to yours and give Him the best inspritation on how to do this work in the mission. He needs willing hearts and He can make anything happen.

I sure love you Miles. You are doing so much better than you think you are! I love how you "hurried to help" the older lady with her trash can and how you felt the gift of tongues in comminicating with her. You are learnign and retaining more than you realize! And kindness is a universal language!

I hope you have a good Sunday! We will be thinking of you!!!

xoxo Mama

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From Miles 11/14

I love you mama! Thanks for always staying on to chat longer with me in the morning. I need it and it is so soothing to just listen to you talk. Thank you for all the pictures, quotes, responses, and prayers. Oh how I feel them and need them. I always look forward to writing in my journal because I get to write to you in a way. The bike ride to the church is long, and my comp doesn't like it, but for me it is so exciting because when I get to the church I can upload all my pictures and journals to you. I hope you have a good week, and can find time to relax with all the company. You are amazing mom and you help me keep going. I love you so so much, talk to you soon.

-Elder Miller

Mama Response:

Oh sweet Miles-- I love you so much and everytime I see a journal entry in your pictures I am so excited! Im so grateful for what you share and that it makes me feel closer to you knowing what's on your heart. Plus we can vent together on what's frustrating so that when we all do talk to you, we can figure out what to do about it :) I can tell how hard you are trying to show love through small acts of service, and keeping quiet when it would be so easy to call him out and that almost always it's not appreciated or seems like it goes unoticed by him- but it maters still because it keeps your heart soft and when you allow that, the spirit blesses you.

I think you are doing the best you can with what you are working with. Still it could be worse, and hoppefully you won't have to have a harder comp stiuation in the future, but keep building on what's good and what's working. In your next companionship you can start out with goals about waking up and being obedient as important. Maybe post training you'll find it easier to be an equal partner. At any rate it's God's work, and he works by small and simple means. He isn't looking to bless the senior comp or the greenie- He's ready to bless the missionary that works and loves and makes the most of the situatio and the time given to accomplish the goals. You just keep doing your part.

I am always happy to stay on longer with you. I don't like to end with you crying= but oh my heart is so full of love for you. You are doing just what the Lord needs. Keep remembering it's His work and let Him use you. We'll all be praying for more contacts with people that are prepared-- isn't it a beautiful thing that God knows sometimes before the person even does that they are ready.

Love you with all my heart

I know you've heard this quote, but it's such a good one, esp when you wonder sometimes why it has to be so hard-

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11-25-2022 Nov 24^th response

1. I know you prob don’t realize-= but literally all day on Thanksgiving, we were thinking of you! Everyone agreed it is not the same without you! We are all so grateful though for what you are doing and just look forward to Thanksgivings future where we will have you with us! Glad you had zone conference to mix up that day though!

2. That’s neat Elder Lopez can see your language coming—I am sure it’s hard for you to tell, but it must be improving so much every day

3. Glad you got a hug, sorry for a hurried interview, but I’m so glad you felt good about it. You will do great things miles. It’s who you are and who you are willing to be for the Lord! I’m glad your MP sees it and told you though! I am sure he knew what situation you were going into and I am sure he is pleased with what you are doing with it. There’s always more to the picture than we can see- and trusting your assignments and the Lord in your areas and companionships will bless you, your companions and the work

4. Smart to ask Sister Lamprect about the sandals—she would know and that’s all the clearance you need, plus you didn’t have to bother president with it when your time cut a little short. Speaking of short, did your haircut come up?I still think it looks really good.

5. 45 days is good news—just the option of having a little breathing room before you head to Provo- it will be hard to let you go so fast (though it’ll be easier knowing the girls are down there with you) after getting home (and hard to be ready for all the stuff you’ll need) Even if you cold come home mid July, that’d give us a little more time to prep. We’ll just see how it works out….but maybe good to think about when it gets closer

6. That’s great Benjamin was ready for a lesson and super idea to teach him about Benjamin in the Book of Mormon where there’s the same name connection 😊

7. What a sweet thing to write Elder Lopez a note- I’m so glad you thought of that—it’s so good to serve someone else and I’m sure it meant a lot to him. Note writing makes this mama proud!! That’s my Miles!

Nov 25^th

8. Maybe you could write a thank you note (or email) to the Senior couples who put on that Thanksgiving dinner for you—that was so kind of them- it’s neat, all of you there were making that sacrifice of not having your normal Thanksgiving- it’s neat you could make that offering as missionaries, senior missionaries, mission president and wife together

9. I’m so glad your training went well. I can just imagine you, like this last year and a half in come follow me—you really step up and it’s powerful when you do. I’m so glad the spirit was felt and it’s neat that Sister Lamprect brought up that teaching again. Impactful!

10. How cool, a lesson to end the day- neat! I get the chlls thinking about those moments you describe when you are able to share in a lesson and the spirit is so strong. ♥

Oh Miles, you are doing so well. I’m glad you got your holiday lights up. We had a nice Thanksgiving- too much food, fun with Auntie K, Viry and Drew (hahaha, Drew though Auntie K was dad’s mom all day- we didn’t realizes that until later-=- so funny! We started playing Chrimstas music and dad put some garlands up out side on porch. It looks nice, but maybe a little underwhileming in the neighborhood with all the pro lighting companies doing their thing. Oh well.

We got down all the Christmas bins—dad was pretty amazing on his own bc those bins were stacked high on that back shelf. I kind of need to sift thoguth things before the group can really be helpful. We decided to do the kid tree upstairs in front of the French doors by the fridge- more visible and we won’t have to move the MTC table. We’ll use the skinnier tree from Exeter for it- not sure if ornaments will fit, but now yours and Sadie and Emma’s are packed up, we might make it all fit. I’m not loving the size/scale of the tree for downstairs, bc the room could handle a much bigger tree, and I’m not sure if the lights are white or just colored (we had them colored at the cabin- the tree we had in the basement) is the one we kept- so we’ll see… but for now it’s great. It’s been fun having everyone here- Viry leaves tomorrow, and just found out Drew will too, instead of Sunday- which is fine—he’s been really great to have- but I’m tired and company mode and company food is exhausting too. No one has gone to bed before 1am all week and I’m feeling it. Sadie and seth and Emma will leave Sunday afternoon

Emma is working for the last time tonight (till she comes back for Christmas, she might work 6 or so shifts over the 2 weeks she’s home). Today we went to the movies in Eagle as our “thing to do” and then Dad took Sadie and Seth out to Middleton to see Marquelle’s house—they are almost to the putting in windows stage- I haven’t seen it yet, but dad says it’s huge. Having everyone here has made us think about how we maybe can add on a few bedrooms/bathrooms/playroom in the nearish future- once Emma or you are married we don’t really have enough space and I want space so you can all have a room when you come home and I want you here often with your families! Dad has some ideas of making our laundry room into a hallway and expanding out that =way--- you’ll have to ask him about it. I don’t really know the details you’ll have to ask him. You know how he needs a project!!! I think it’s prob a good idea though.

Graham has been pretty impressed with Drews mad pickleball and trampoline skills. Funny to me. He misses you so much Miles. You are so so special to him!

I better get going on dinner—I feel like I just finish lunch (ham and cheese sliders, grapes, chips and it’s time to prep for dinner (teriyaki chicken, stir fry, egg rolls, rice) At least I’ve got dessert covered with pie leftovers. This year we had peach, apple, pumpkin, coconut cream, banana cream & Key lime. Tomorrow night we have Gpa Miller’s birthday bash in Middleton- glad we won’t have to juggle Drew or viry at that now that they are both leaving Sat during the day.

I hope you have had a good post zone conference day. I love hearing about how the Lord is preparing your area and that you are both willing to be at the places He needs you! Transfers are getting closer!

I love you so so much!!

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11-29-22

1. That’s neat what dad shared with you about joy. He always sends such good things- he usually cc’s them to me so I can save them for your blog book. I love how close you two are and I know he prays for you in every prayer with full energy of heart

2. Ill share your entry with dad, it will make him feel like a million bucks!

Tonight is my Christmas RS activity- I hope it is well attended. I’m almost done decorating for Christmas—just a few more things to add to-

Avery doesn’t have a game all week but we do have HSB practices 2x this week. Not too much going on- got a little snow yesterday/today

The hot tub guy came out- still can’t fix it- it now is an electrical issue- this hot tub is getting more and more expensive! Grrr

Tomorrow is your Benjamin day! I’ll be prayerful about that.

Keep looking for your “AND” moments- ready for transfers AND still totally invested in this one! I love you Miles.

Here’s the talk we read last night for scriptures—we finally made it to April 2022 General Conference- which was special bc I remember listening to it- and how lit up you got at the entire missionary focus. This talk by Elder ballard is a good one.

I love you! So proud!

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/12ballard?lang=eng

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11-30

Response page 79

1. Oh babe Im so sorry about Elder Blake’s family and the packages—I didn’t know. I would have loved to send something. I think I did read about that on the fb page, but I didn’t know where you’d be when it was posted- or when they’d be coming—I am sorry. It would’ve been so fun to send something! I’m sorry. I am feeling sad about not sending something at Christmas either. Someone just asked your MP on that TPOS mission page, and your MP said, not to send anything in a package- but to add something to your account instead….so we’ll do that, okay?! Not the same as a package and I’m sorry you had to watch everyone else open them. You are so loved! I could never send a package that would tell you enough how much!

2. One day it will be us disembarking at Aruba from our cruise ship!!! (I think it would be hard for you to be around a cruise ship) But there are more cruises in your future!!!!

Page 80

3. It is a good missionary to spread light like that being friendly and having a positive impact on anyone you run into (or are stopped by in a round about. That’s cute the kids smiled and waved back!

4. Ahh-=Miguel how cute—I bet you loved that sushi shrimp! HE looks great in his black chef outfit! When we come back, I want to dine at his restaurant!!!!

5. I am sorry your comp/ZL don’t extend you the courtesy of knowing in advance what the plan is with transfers- but hopefully it ended up being a good mix up and a break from the comp situation

6. MILES that is unbelievable that your comp shut down your ideas- for what they could share with Benjamin- obviously it would be left up to him and Adams, but your input and planning should be valued. YOU NEED TO CALL HIM OUT ON THAT!!! It isn’t up to him to decide everything,. He at least should show you the littlest awareness and talk it though or respect your ideas. Please don’t let him do that. If he does, call him on it—I know there’s a price to pay but that’s not right. Makes me so sad that he doesn’t get that—beyond the comp relations- just in any communication YOU DON”T TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!! UGH. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I hope you can at least use the phone to text Benjamin and tell him how much you missed meeting with him today and that you are excited for next week. GRRRRR

I can’t end on that note- but it does burn me! Haha Avery always makes fun of me when I say that. Keep being the bigger person. So hard but so important and so what the Savior would do. Isn’t it amazing= when you have an experience that makes you appreciate even more what the Savior suffered and how He responded—lots to strive for.

I loved what you started in your field notes with President Nelson's talks- I'll show that to dad too-- you're right-- what happens in Noord with THIS comp right now for the balance of this transfer matters to the Lord

Here’s a great missionary talk I read today- It’s from a devotional and I don’t know how to find it to link it to a site you can see so I’ll just paste it here. Even if you’ve read it before, it’s a good one to reread. I read it and applied it to my efforts in my calling/stewardships.

Becoming a Consecrated Missionary – Tad R. Callister

Given by Elder Tad R. Callister, of the Seventy, in the Provo Missionary Training Center on October 7, 2008

Many years ago I entered the Mission Training Center as a young enthusiastic missionary. The training was shorter and simpler then, but the spirit was just as powerful. I have long forgotten most of what was said, but an observation made by the president of the Mission Training Center struck me and has remained with me to this day. He said in essence: “Every mission has a number of good, even great missionaries, but most missions only have about five or so consecrated missionaries – those who are willing to lay everything on the altar of sacrifice.”

Today I believe we have many more such consecrated missionaries. But to those of you who are not quite there, but would like to be, it is you to whom I would like to speak today – about becoming a consecrated missionary.

What is a Consecrated Missionary?
What is a consecrated missionary? It is a missionary who is willing to lay everything on the altar of sacrifice and to hold nothing back. It is a willingness to give every ounce of energy, every conscious thought, and every drop of passion to this work – to submit our will to God’s will whatever it may be. Every missionary who has been to the temple has covenanted to consecrate his all. The book of Omni records the depth and breadth of that covenant: “Yea, come unto me, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him” (Omni 1:26).

The law of consecration is the law of the temple, it is the law of the celestial kingdom, and it is the law of a celestial mission.

Parley P. Pratt was such a consecrated missionary. He had served as a missionary for more than 25 years of almost constant labors. He had just returned from his latest mission in Chile. He was hopeful that he could now remain at home and enjoy his family, but such expectations were short lived. President Brigham Young called him to serve yet another mission– this time in the eastern states. One can imagine the feelings that must have swelled up in Parley’s heart. Perhaps he thought, “Haven’t I given all that a mortal could be expected to give? Don’t I deserve to spend some time with my family and friends? Can’t I just relax for a while?”

But Parley P. Pratt was a consecrated missionary. On September 7, 1856, shortly after learning of his call by Brigham Young, he offered the following tender reflections and prophetic insights: “I have desired, after travelling for twenty-five or twenty-six years, mostly abroad, to stay at home and minister among the people of God, and take care of my family; but God’s will be done, and not mine. If it is the will of God that I should spend my days in proclaiming this Gospel and bearing testimony of these things, I shall think myself highly privileged and honored. And when the Spirit of God is upon me, I think it matters but very little what I suffer, what I sacrificed–whether I secure the honor or dishonor of men, or where I die, if it so be that I can keep the faith, fight the good fight, and finish my course with joy. I have all eternity before me, in which to enjoy myself.” (Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, p. xxv.)

Sometimes there is a temptation to withhold part of the offering. Such was the case with Ananias and Sapphira, his wife. The scriptures tell us that they sold a piece of land. Under the law of consecration they were to turn over the entire sale proceeds to the church, but secretly they kept back part of the price. The consequence was devastating – they were struck dead (Acts 5:1-10). Sometimes good men, perhaps even great men, can’t quite bring themselves to put everything on the altar of sacrifice, and in the course lose their eternal lives. So it was with the rich young ruler. He had kept the commandments from his youth up. Then the Savior declared, “Yet lackest thou one thing. Sell all thou hast and distribute unto the poor…and come follow me.” But it was too much to ask, and he went away sorrowful, unwilling to put his all on the sacrificial altar.

Peter, overhearing the conversation and understanding there could be no shortcuts to eternal life, no holding back, declared in contrast: “We have left all and followed thee” (Luke 18:18-28). Perhaps we have one or two things which we lack, that we hold back from the sacrificial altar, that prevent us from becoming a consecrated missionary. May I discuss some of those, so that hopefully we too might become like Peter and leave our all on the altar of sacrifice.

Put On the Altar of Sacrifice Any Disobedience.
First, a consecrated missionary puts on the altar of sacrifice any streak of disobedience he may possess, however large or small it may be. He has an unrelenting quest to be exactly obedient. King Lamoni recognized that Ammon was a consecrated missionary, for he said: “Even he doth remember all my commandments to execute them” (Alma 18:10).

When I first entered the field as a mission president, I met several times with a missionary who was struggling with obedience. One day in frustration he blurted out: “What then is it you want me to do?” I replied: “You have missed the point. It is not what I want you to do, it should be what do you want to do?” There was a moment of silence and then he made this insightful observation: “You are not just asking me to change my behavior; you are asking me to change my nature.” He was so right.

If you only change your behavior, then you will be the same person you were when you left home, subject to the same problems that plagued you then. But if you change your nature you will go home a new man or woman, with the power and discipline to conquer your old Goliaths. If you only get up at 6:30 am because your companion does, you have merely changed your behavior. If you get up whether or not he does, you have changed your nature. If you speak good words but entertain bad thoughts, you have only changed your behavior. If you also change your thoughts you have also changed your nature.

With the Lord’s help we can transform our natures. King Benjamin gave the key as to how we can do it. We must become “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mos 3:19).

That is the key – to submit our will to God’s will.

One missionary, upon going home told me that he slept in one morning. His companion said to him, “It’s time to get out of bed.” This missionary responded, “I don’t want to.” His companion replied, “It’s not about what you want, it’s about what the Lord wants.” The missionary said; “I have never forgotten that – a mission is about that the Lord wants, not what I want.”

A consecrated nature will cause us to be obedient, not because we have to, but because we want to. Such a nature may cause us to change the music we listen to; it may cause some to be more positive in their speech, or more exacting in following the morning schedule or more diligent in their studies. Whatever it is, the consecrated missionary will read the white handbook with enthusiasm, anxious to obey and follow every rule with exactness, knowing that it is not a book of restraints, but a book of blessings. He will have an overarching, burning desire to do the Lord’s will, not his.

Leave Our Fears on the Sacrificial Altar
Second, consecrated missionaries leave their fears on the sacrificial altar and open their mouths with everyone. This will be one of your great challenges in the mission field. It sometimes separates the consecrated missionaries from the good missionaries. I recognize there may be multiple reasons why someone doesn’t open his mouth at all times and in all places – why he holds back a part of the offering. It could be a timid personality, or a fear of man, or a streak of laziness, but whatever the excuse may be, it must eventually be overcome. It never outweighs the Savior’s command which states: “And thou must open thy mouth at all times.” (DC 28:16). This injunction is repeated again and again in the scriptures.

On another occasion the Lord said, “At all times and in all places he shall open his mouth and declare my gospel as with the voice of a trump both day and night.” And then comes the promise to those who do: “And I will give unto him strength such as is not known among men” (DC 24:12).

Sometimes in life we just have to square our shoulders and do it. There is no magic pill that makes us courageous, no passage of time that strengthens us, no memorized approach that emboldens us. We are left only with the compelling counsel of King Benjamin: “And now, if ye believe all these things, see that you do them” (Mosiah 4:19).

Years ago my grandfather was serving as the president of the Rotterdam Branch in Holland. He told of a woman who came to him destitute, who had earned the equivalent of an American quarter for the entire week. She asked if she needed to pay tithing. He looked at her for a minute in her impoverished condition, and then said: “Sister, if this were my church, I would not take your tithing. But it is not my church; it is the Lord’s church, and tithing is a principle upon which blessings of the Lord are predicated.” (LeGrand Richards Speaks, P. 185.) She paid her tithing.

If I could as a Mission President, I would have exempted some missionaries who struggled with opening their mouth. I knew how hard it was for them, but I couldn’t. The command to open one’s mouth is not my command. It is not the command of Preach My Gospel, it is not the command of the missionary department, it is the command of the Lord who has spoken on this subject again and again through his living prophets. Sometimes we have to be like Nephi and say, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them” (1 Ne 3:7). Eventually we must do more than tell the stories of the Book of Mormon; we must live them.

The Lord, in speaking to a group of departing missionaries (like you), told them five times to “preach by the way” (DC 52:10-27). We preach by the way when we talk to people in the parking lots, when we speak with people in elevators, when we speak to people in the stores or on the bus or at the gas stations. Consecrated missionaries preach by the way at all times and in all places, both day and night. Sometimes we have missionaries who are so worried about offending people that in the process they never ever save them.

I had an assistant who used to say, “If you want to baptize a few people you talk to a few people, if you want to baptize a lot of people you talk to a lot of people and if you want to baptize everyone you can, you talk to everyone you can.” But the Lord gave an even further reason for opening our mouths. He declared: “And it shall be given thee from the time thou shalt go [out of thy apartment in the morning], until the time thou shalt return [to thy apartment in the evening] what thou shalt do”. (DC 28:15-16). In other words, you will have the spirit from the moment you leave your apartment until the moment you return to your apartment if you do what is required in verse 16: “And thou must open thy mouth at all times, declaring my gospel with the sound of rejoicing. Amen.”

The reason it is so important to open our mouths is that every time we do so we exercise faith, and every time we exercise faith we invite the spirit and miracles into our lives. Consecrated missionaries open their mouth with everyone.

Put Our Romantic Passions on the Table
Third, a consecrated missionary puts his romantic passions on the altar of sacrifice; he has a locked heart and a focused mind. He is never flirtatious, he does not have an eye on the cute BYU coed or the friendly young single adult, nor is his prime focus with the young women after sacrament meeting. He is not obsessed with his girl friend back home. He rises above all of that.

In my day the white handbook contained this all-inclusive statement: “Put out of your mind all thoughts of home, school, your girl and worldly things.” It was a powerful reminder that our mission was the sole focus of our mind and the sole passion of our heart. As hard as it may be, the consecrated missionary disciplines his passions. His eye is riveted to this work. He is like the thoroughbred horse with his blinders on. He races ahead, seeing only track and finish. If an inappropriate thought enters his mind, he drives it out with a hymn or scripture. His mind does not go with the flow. Rather, there is an active, concerted, conscientious effort to keep his mind pure and clean.

When David saw Bathsheba on the rooftop, he continued to watch – that was his downfall. When Joseph was tempted by Pharaoh’s wife, the scriptures say: “[He] got him out” (Gen 39:12), and that was his salvation. It is no different with our minds. Alma taught this principle to his son Corianton, who had unfortunately unlocked his heart to the harlot Isabel. Alma scolded his son severely and said, “Yea, she did steal away the hearts of many, but this was no excuse for thee, my son.” And then he gave him the remedy to be a consecrated missionary, “go no more after the lusts of your eyes, but cross [or discipline] yourself in all these things.” (Alma 39:4,9).

You young missionaries who enter the field, will be surrounded, almost immersed, by those in immodest clothing, by suggestive billboards, by magazines and papers that have lost all sense of moral decency. If you garnish your thoughts with virtue unceasingly (DC 121:45) the consequences will be monumental in your life. As a missionary you will have confidence that the Lord will hear and answer your prayers. The Lord himself promised: “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.” (DC 121:45) In addition, when you go home and date, you may not only have a romantic courtship, but one that is also clean and wholesome. And when you are married you will be a loyal and true spouse. If every action is preceded by a thought, then every consecrated missionary must first have a clean and consecrated mind.

Give Up Pride
Fourth, a consecrated missionary gives up his pride on the sacrificial altar. The Lord made it clear, “And no one can assist in this work except he be humble and full of love” (DC 12:8). Pride manifests itself in many ways – one way is disloyalty to those who are our leaders.

Loyalty is much more than a reluctant submissiveness. It is an active pursuit, not only to follow the counsel of our leaders, but to seek their counsel. A consecrated missionary hungers and thirsts for instruction as to how he can be better, and how fortunate we are to have so many missionaries in the world who manifest that spirit. Again and again missionaries would ask me in the field, “President, what can I do to be a better missionary.” And oh, how they became so.

Pride may manifest itself in jealousy of companions. I think of one of the finest elders of our mission. I never heard him say “I.” It was always “we” or “my companion did this” or “my companion did that.” Though his words always credited someone else, somehow you always knew he was the driving force behind it all. Pride may manifest itself in a reluctance to confess our sins. We may be too embarrassed to do so, or fearful of the consequences or unrealistically hoping the sin will somehow vanish if we serve an honorable mission. But at the root of each of those excuses is pride.

On one occasion a missionary came to me with a belated confession. I asked him what motivated him to come. He responded: “I finally disclosed to my companion that I had something to confess to the President, but I didn’t want to go home. Then my companion said something that struck me to the very core. “Elder,” he said, “there is something even more important than your mission.” Somewhat surprised I replied, “What is that?” Then came his answer: “Repentance – repentance is more important than your mission.” The young Elder who sat before me said, “President, I knew he was right. And that is why I am here. I want to repent.” Not too long ago I received an invitation to attend his temple sealing.

Some have honestly asked, “When should I confess?” When the sin is of such a serious magnitude that it may trigger a disciplinary proceeding or continues to linger in our minds so that we cannot have peace. If we then fail to confess, our spiritual horizons become limited. It is like being surrounded by a circular, impenetrable wall. In such a circumstance, we have some limited room in which to move, but we are trapped. We will look in vain for a slit through which we can squeeze, an opening through which we can pass, an end around which we can travel. There are no end runs, no secret openings, no hidden passages. Serving a faithful mission does not obviate confession; months and years of abstinence no not erase its need; one-on-one pleading with the Lord is not a substitute. Somewhere, sometime, somehow one must face the wall square up and climb it. That is confession. When we do this our spiritual horizons become unlimited and we become entitled to the promise of the Lord. “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Isaiah 1:18).

Pride may manifest itself in a defensive attitude or a multitude of excuses. On one occasion I reprimanded a missionary for an act of blatant disobedience. He started to offer excuses; finally I said, “If you want to offer excuses I cannot help you. If you are willing to acknowledge the wrong, I will work with you and we can build for a constructive future on a sure and solid foundation.” That day he had to choose between rationalization and repentance. Fortunately he chose the latter.

One night I was with an Elder Choi and Elder McClellan. We were talking to a mother who was reluctant to let her 17-year-old son be baptized. For at least ten minutes of the conversation she chastised these elders severely, and literally “raked them over the coals.” No doubt they were embarrassed, perhaps even offended, particularly since their mission president was present. In my estimation they had done nothing wrong. Instead, they were taking an undeserved whipping of substantial proportions. I thought, will they fight back, will they argue, will they defend their position? To their credit there was no argument, no excuses – simply the humble response that they were trying to do what was best for her son and if in any way they had failed to do so they were sorry. They were not trying to win an argument. They were trying to save a soul. With that humble spirit, her heart softened, and finally she agreed that she would listen more carefully to the message her son was being taught. They were consecrated missionaries – every ounce of their pride had been put on the altar of sacrifice.

We Put our Negativism and Sarcasm on the Table.
Fifth, consecrated missionaries are willing to give up any negativism or sarcasm. Instead they are optimistic and positive. They have a 24-hour smile. They live the invitation of the Savior, “Be of good cheer I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). There is not a negative bone in their bodies. There is no rejection at the door or on the street that can dim their enthusiasm. They are willing to pay the price of repeated rejection for the hope of a single conversion. Whatever the world throws at them, they throw back a smile, because they know they have the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Consecrated missionaries are like Heber C. Kimball and Brigham Young, who left for their missions to England. Their families were poverty stricken, they were sick, and there was little food available for the ensuing months. Heber and Brigham, finally able to raise themselves from their own sick beds, kissed their wives and started on their journey. Brigham recorded: “It seemed to me as though my very inmost parts would melt within me at the thought of leaving my family in such a condition.” (Men With a Mission, p. 71.) But before they were out of sight, Brigham directed the teamster to stop. He and Heber mustered all their strength to stand, they raised their hats over their heads three times and shouted, “Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah for Israel.” We have such consecrated missionaries who can shout “Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah for Israel” even when they are bombarded with rejection, or illness, or disappointment – who have unwavering faith in the promise of Paul: “let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Gal 6:9).

Extra-Milers
Consecrated missionaries are extra-milers. They put on the table of sacrifice every ounce of their energy, every hour of every day. When Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile, he collapsed at the finish line into the hands of his well-wishers. A journalist, sensing all that was involved in that historic moment wrote: “The runner, open-mouthed, thin-legged, knowing only pace and goal, spending his strength so that the finish, at one mile, there was nothing more.” For a consecrated missionary there is nothing more to give at the end of the day. He has put it all on the altar of sacrifice.Consecrated missionaries are missionaries who would finish the marathon. They are missionaries who would go the full fifteen rounds. They are missionaries who carry no white flags.

Years ago at family night we would have wrestling as part of the evening activities – our children loved it. When the kids were little I would sometimes hold them down and ask, “Do you give up?” At first they would say, “Yes Dad, I give up.” Then I would say, “No, you never give up, you never give up.” As time would pass and I would ask the question again, they would quickly reply, “No, Dad I never give up.” Consecrated missionaries never give up on the Lord’s work. They never throw in the towel. They would have made it from Palmyra to Salt Lake Valley. Nothing would have weeded them out along the way. For you see, they had unwavering faith.

Consecrated missionaries are out of the apartment by 10:00 a.m. They do not come back before 9:00 p.m., except for lunch or dinner. They speak to everyone. They knock at one more door. There is a quickness in their pace and an urgency in their work. You can see it in their faces.

Years ago I was a young missionary in Washington DC. I was on an exchange with an Elder Hafen. It was a bike area. We had an appointment across town but the rain started to pour. He asked, “Should I cancel the appointment?” I replied, “This is your area, you make the decision. “He thought for a moment and then replied, “Let’s ride.” I love those words – “Let’s ride” – rain, sleet, snow, it doesn’t matter – “Let’s ride.” That is the spirit of a consecrated missionary.

When consecrated missionaries are exhausted and nothing is left, they rely upon their faith, and the reserve tanks of energy somehow carry them through the day. They too become recipients of the promise to Joseph Smith: “In temporal labors thou shalt not have strength for this is not thy calling.” But then the promise: “Thou shall devote all thy service in Zion; and in this thou shalt have strength” (DC 24:7-9).

What Does it Cost to Become a Consecrated Missionary?
What is the cost to become a consecrated missionary? Some time ago I saw a movie on the life of Martin Luther. He was about to be tried for heresy. Shortly before he was to meet with the Court of Inquisition, his spiritual mentor (a monk who had trained him and loved him) was cutting his hair with a razor. At one point the monk reprimanded Luther for having turned the world upside down, leading the world in revolt – Protestants against Catholics.

Then in a stirring moment, Luther grasps his arm and asks: “You wanted me to change the world. Did you think there would be no cost?” You young missionaries came out here to change the world, to change lives, but there is a cost. It costs everything that you have on the altar of sacrifice – your fears, your pride, your laziness, your disobedience, your weaknesses; we cannot hold anything back. When you came to the mission field you burned the bridges behind you, you burned the ships in the harbor. There is no retreat to your former life. You cannot have one foot at home and one foot in the mission field.

That is a certain formula for frustration. The Lord demands our whole soul on the sacrificial altar. That is the price we must pay, and when we do, we then become instruments in the hands of God.

What Is the Power of a Consecrated Missionary?
What is the power of a consecrated missionary? Suppose I were to give you the
following options, which would you choose?

-100 mediocre missionaries or 80 consecrated missionaries?
-100 mediocre missionaries or 50 consecrated missionaries?
-100 mediocre missionaries or 20 consecrated missionaries?
-100 mediocre missionaries or 2 consecrated missionaries?
(by the way, the names of those consecrated missionaries are Alma and Ammon)

Nephi realized that power comes with consecration, not numbers. Laman and Lemuel could never understand this. They could not comprehend how they could get the brass plates. After all they said, “How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands. Behold he is a mighty man, and he can command fifty, yea, even he can slay fifty, then why not us.” For them it was all about numbers – 50 was more than 4, therefore they could not prevail. But for Nephi, man’s power was inconsequential. It was only the Lord’s power that counted. He replied: “For behold he [God] is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even his tens of thousands” (1 Ne 4:1). The power of a consecrated missionary is without limit. It is manifested in so many ways. As to Nephi (son of Nephi), the scriptures tell us his words were so powerful, that for his detractors, “it were not possible that they could disbelieve his words” (3 Ne 7:18). When the sons of Mosiah preached the gospel, the scriptures declare: “They taught with power and authority of God” (Alma 17:3). And as to those consecrated missionaries who thrust in their sickle with all their souls, the Lord promised: “your sins are forgiven you” (DC 31:5). Those are the powers and blessings of a consecrated missionary, and that is why the Prophet Joseph said; “it is not the multitude of preachers that is to bring about the glorious millennium; but it is those who are ‘called, and chosen, and faithful.” (TPJ 42). In essence – the consecrated.

Consecrated Missionaries Serve the Savior Because They Love Him.
What is the driving, motivating force for a consecrated missionary? It is the Savior and His Atonement. If we fail to be obedient, if we fail to be humble, if we fail to be fearless, perhaps we intellectually understand the Atonement, but somehow we fail to grasp the underlying love of his sacrifice. Once we feel that, as well as understand it, we will be driven to give our all. We will realize that our all is a small repayment for his all.

Becoming a Consecrated Missionary.
Each of us might appropriately ask, “What lack I yet to become a consecrated missionary?” There is no escaping it. God will demand our all. If we are shy or reserved – God will compel us to change, to be bold. He will jerk us out of our comfort zone again and again. If we are lazy or idle, he will push us and pull us even when we are exhausted. If we are disobedient, he will press us until we have a child-like submissiveness. He will not let us be content with our weaknesses.

Whatever the weakness may be that holds us back from becoming a consecrated missionary, the Lord has promised that if we have faith in him, and humble ourselves before him, that he will make weak things become strong unto us (Ether 12:26-27). I believe that. I do not believe there is one missionary whose weaknesses are greater than the potential strengths within him. Why? – because each of us is a son and daughter of God, with his divine nature and divine potential woven into the very fabric of our souls. I do not think the Lord expects immediate perfection of us, but I do believe he expects immediate progress, and with that progress comes consecration. I believe that he recognizes and appreciates every step we take forward, however small it may be, striving to put our whole souls on the altar of sacrifice. At first, consecration may seem like Mt. Everest, unconquerable, unapproachable, unassailable, but every step we take forward, however minute it may seem, furthers our ascent, until one day we have attained the summit.

May we not be content with being a good, even a great missionary, when we have the capacity to be consecrated missionaries. Mormon declared with boldness: “Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people that they might have everlasting life” (2 Ne 5:13). May it be so with each of us, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

♦♦♦

12-4-22

Hey babe-- I wanted to wait to share this with you on pday bc I didn't want you to get too worried-- but the extended fam has started posting on social media about it--and I didn't want you to see it and worry.

yesterday we were at Makella's baptism in Middleton- before it started Grandma was really agitated, loud, confused about where she was, didn't know who family was- all behaviors not at all like Grandma-- she thought she was at a basketball game, not a baptsim. She resisted leaving but the kids were able to get her to the car. Dad, Zak, Mar and Gpa took her to the hospital in Nampa- and then she was taken by ambulence to Boise. She has suffered a stroke. They aren't sure exaclty why or what it will mean. She is pretty consused right now-- she can speak and there isn't really any paralysis (both things that can happen with stroke-= sometimes temporarily or sometimes permanent) So that's good, but she is confused-- and comes in and out of being with it-- like sometimes she knows who we are and sometimes she doesn't even recogize gpa--= calls him Briggs. Most of the kids and spouses were at hospital last night in the waiting room- Dad adn the girls were able to go visit with her and Grandpa. Gma also tested postitive for Covid when she was first admited in Nampa, even thoguh she had no symptons--so the visitng has been super limited isnce last night-= like now it's one person per day. Dad adn Marianne went back this morning=- Marianne went in and will be with her all day. Dad stayed to talk to doctors.

Grandpa is having a hard time== but he also can't be the one to sit in that little room all day- can't handle it= he's pretty emotional and wouldn't know how to update the group, or understand the medical parts from doctors. so for now he's not staying with her there. They are monitoring her closely and trying to figure out why it happened and how to prevent it. Hoping the clot will dissolve on it's own bc surgery to remove it isn't an option with the blook thinners she's on. We're hoping they will move her out of ICU tomorrow== and they'll make reccomendations for what the after care is like-= to help her with speech and verabal skills to be able to say what she wants to say. No one really knows what that will look like or how long it will take=- but there's so many of us close that'll be able to sit with her and help her. Hoepfuly she can just get a lot of information from all the scans and tests (and dad requested that she be tested for Covid again, since she has no symptoms, and maybe if that was a false positive they'll be a little more leanant with visitors once she's out of the ICU. ) We are expecting that she'll be there a couple of days and then hoepfully they'll let her come home and have some therapists come in to help during the week. We are hopeful and just grateful they could get her right in when she did-- that they reconized the signs of what was happening to her. She will be the sweetest patient those nurses ever have- that's for sure.

Dad is doing pretty good. He is feeling like they are taking good care of her and is he is stepping up to advocate for her at the hospital. I don't want you to get too worried-- just be prayerful-=-= missionary prayers are a power prayer and she needs that. I will of course keep you updated. And anything you want to know we can talk about tomorrow-=- hopefully we'll have a little more information by then.

We love you so mcuh. I sat in a missionary correlation meeting today after chruch with a bunch of people, and two missionaries and I just kept looking at them and seeing you.

xxoo

Mama

♦♦♦♦♦♦

12/7/22

Journal response dec 6^th

1. You are right, your joy in all of this ( companion and area aside) is your mindset. I know that’s a big thing to sway, but it’s worth every effort… and sometimes you’ll feel the pendulum come back the other way and that’s okay, just get your self right again- no matter what it looks like, it’s time you’ve given to the Lord. If you continue to give Him your best effort, He will not waste your time—or His—it’s too important this gathering. Don’t forget you’ve been waiting eternities to be here right now on earth proving yourself as His missionary and finding the people He sends you to find.

2. I don’t think it will be awkward to see your comp in the future at zone conferences—he doesn’t really invest in others except his “besties” anyways so you can just be a friend and that’s good. Leave it better than you found it—your area and this companionship.

3. What a a neat idea for your training with the personal reflection on doubts and fears, I think trainings are always good when they are personalized like that—it allows space for the spirit to touch people and motivate them to change what is needed. I’m sorry that you felt bad about what your companion said. I think every missionary feels like that a little- not as a dis to their comp- like they can’t handle things- but because if they have been well intended and loved and prayed for these friends, then they just want them to progress and it’s just hard to leave—(Moreso than hard to leave them with another comp) Maybe some of that was directed your way unfairly but not to worry Miles—if this is your area without him, every friend is in very capable hands. I don’t just say that bc I’m your mama—I say that because it’s true—you put your whole heart in, you apply great faith and you aren’t afraid to work, you have consecrated this time and that area will grow like it is supposed to because it’s the Lord’s area and His children. Elder Lopez might not have figured this out yet, but he isn’t the one responsible or who it all hinges on—it’s the Lord—and if your comp really understood that, he wouldn’t be worried—he’d keep going in faith where the Lord needs him next.

Page 87

4. That{s great that you got the shower fixed up. Yea for a temple connection with a clean shower! I am pretty sure there is some bleach type of chemicals involved in the fonts… not bleach exactly but something like it…plus all the jumpers and towels are definitely bleached.

5. I liked that tooth pic’…that’s a fun one to have. That tooth has some rust spots on I though that look a little like cavities. hahaha!

6. So excited that today is your Benjamin day’ really hopeful about that lesson and a picture! You are doing it Miles… you{ve almost made it to Thursday!

We love you so much! Been thinking about you all day’ hope you can tell from the little videos in the chat… the kids didn’t{t have school today bc of a teacher work day so we talked a lot about you. We got Lainey{s bday gifts wrapped

One gift is a purple iridescent mamba forever out door basketball she can take to school’ I think she{ll love that!

Okay gotta go’’ Grandma is home and Dad and I are going to see her’ and Marquelle says stay with her till bedtime’ she{s going to need someone there all the time now so I{m sure we{ll have lots of turns

Im taking her some of the fudge we made today’ because I know how she loves it and she prob won{t be doing any cooking or baking for awhile

Sorry to end short’’ love you like crazy!

Also my keyboard is being weird and anytime I type any punctuation it makes another symbol. Grrrr. No time to fix it

Love you! You are the Lord{s best!!!

Heres{s a talk I was going to study tomorrow

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1998/04/behold-we-count-them-happy-which-endure?lang=eng

♥♥♥♥♥

12/8/22

DEC 8^th

I loved your pictures! Fun to see Benjamin in person—It’s neat that even though he doesn’t smoke (which is great bc it’s one less hurdle for him moving forward) he takes pride in what he creates and what he sells.

Looks like some other fun pics with friends—you’ll have to go through those with me on Pday so I know who is who.

That yard you did the choppy for was whoa! That’s a lot of weeds—Opah would be so proud!! I am so proud! So much work! But like you say, it’s just neat that at the end of the day he feels your light – which even if he isn’t ready for a message now, you are laying the groundwork and representing the Savior in Noord. That’s esp sweet during the Christmas holiday- to just love and serve people—very Christlike.

It’s weird your comp is kind of shutting down—try to remember that so it doesn’t happen with you mentally or actually when you are in an area and you think it’s coming up on your “turn” to go. It’s almost Saturday and that’ll be good just to know. If he’s gone a little quiet, does it allow you more time to speak—I know not in lessons, but just in seeing people?

I am just so proud you Miles- I can tell you love the people—I can imagine how great you are at interacting with them and making them each feel important- like asking the neighbor about his fruist trees—just showing a genuine interest, it’s so neat and people will respond (some with time and multiple effort) better because your heart is so in it.

Today Dad finished up my root canal—after two middle of the night visits to address the crazy pain and infection, I’m glad It has calmed down and is finished. I am still on antibiotics for a week.

Tomorrow Averys’ team plays Meridian at Meridian. They had a game Tues.. v Kuna=- not Avery’s best game and they lost again by a couple points—that keeps happening- games are close. Avery fouled out with 2 min left in game- but she was fouling on purpose at end and also guarding the only player who could do much. She had 8 points. It was kinda lame though bc that was the game Grandpa watched so she was sorta embarrassed about that. I’ll put some clips on from her Kuna game though.

Sounds like Emma might be heading this way on Tuesday night- she’s still dodging the weirdos, I wish she could meet someone that she could genuinely have an interest in—not that I want her to get serious, but the girl can’t seem to find a sharp guy—they are all hiding! She’s been going to the temple almost weekly and that makes my heart so happy. Hopefully next semester she’ll mix up her social circles and meet some cool people in her new classes.

We didn’t get to HSB this week between my random tooth pain and being in limbo with Gma Miller-= trying to be available if needed- so the kids missed that. Dad got the hot tub functional enough till spring when we’ll replace the pump- so the kids went in there last night—no bumps yet! Wahoo!

This weekend all Dad’s sibs are gathering at Gmas—the out of towners will be in town (not all the kids, just siblings) and they are doing a family council, just to kind of talk about Gma’s care going forward etc. They are wanting a pic as a family and I guess I am taking that- just the OG’s. hahaha. And then we’ll have lunch and this family council. It’s good to get everyone on the same page and I think the ones that live away have been pretty worried and feeling the distance with all that’s happened with Grandma this last week.

Puppies are doing well- and interacting more-=- they smell each other face to face each morning since Watson sleeps with Graham and Copper J with us, it’s cute how they greet each other- They get all riled up going outside to bark at whoever is past the fence and are becoming good little buddies. I love them.

I got an ornament made that has you in Aruba on it- I will take pics of it- but I thought on Sunday during Come Follow Me, I’d let the kids open it and put it on the tree—you are such a powerful example to all of us of how Christ lived and how He loves.

I love you son. I am so impressed with your effort and the way you are constantly recommitting. It’s inspiring to me. You are in my every thought—all day long—and all my prayers.

Here’s a talk I read from a devotional given by Elder and Sister holland years ago

I liked her part where she said “The only limitations you have are those you set on yourselves”

In Elder Holland’s part, lots of good stories, but also the ending- “be a monument to Mormon perseverance”---- good thing to strive for when the mission days feel monotonous…. Keep enduring well!

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-and-patricia-t-holland/however-long-hard-road/

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

12-18-2022

Oh Miles- I miss you but my heart is happy when I see your pictures and I can tell that you and Elder Hall are working in sync. It's a relief to me that even if it's not perfect-- it's sooo much better than it was- and it is something you can work with. LOVED your Noord area goals. So so good! I was happy to see a journal entry but worry that you feel too much pressure to get them in the photos and I don't want that to stress you out. It was fun to read though adn I've missed you so much this week. Sounds like you've been so busy and when you work that hard and apply faith, the Lord is going to open doors. Your pictures were fun- the lights around the palm tree-- very unique to Aruba. I loved also the picture with your zone with the Lamprects. It's so neat they travel so much to spend a little time with you all during Christmastime. It looks like it was a good experience and I loved what you shared. This Christmas will look so different but also so very special- and one of two (until you serve a senior mission) that is such a complete offering to the Lord. That is so beautiful! He will consecrate it for your good and I hope you feel an abundance of love for and from Him on Christmas day.

We were so happy to "see" you at the ward Chrsitmas party in your video. One missionary did the zoom in thing, but it was a little awkward (narutrally, and it seemed like he was in a hurry to go somewhere- probably anywhere but be on a zoom call with a cultural hall full of ward people hahaha) Several missionaries sent videos like you did and it was neat how you each had such a light about you. Yours was of course our favorite and it made you feel a little closer to get to share you with our ward family. We are still "new" in the ward, but because of callings etc are feeling more at home in the Spurwing ward. It was cute bc Bishop tuft said, "I met with all these missionaries before they left and most of them couldn't really talk more than a minute or so about their feelings about the Savior-- and look at them now" It's just neat to see the growth and the mantle of being a missionary.

Don't worry if you can't watch all the messenger chat videos- I sent a lot yesterday- and maybe shouldn't have since you had that gathering and all, but don't worry- the videos will be there whenever you have time for them (and if you don't it's all good)

It's been fun having Emma home- she'll start work this coming week, even a double shift 11 am to 11pm on Tuesday. Tues night is dad's work xmas party there so she'll get one great tip at the end of her long double shift for sure. It's such a blessing she can work here and there. I think she said she'd do 6 or so nights between now and when she goes back to work. It's great because it's a few months worth of groceries for her and that's a big help. Maybe you should wait tables when you get back- just get your feet wet so you can do the same thing when you are home from school for holidays etc. I bet you'd get lots of great tips from groups of old ladies~!

Today was neat because we went to Olivia's ward for her mission farewell. She did a beautiful job on her talk and it was neat to hear in her words about her path to making this decision to serve. It was apparent that the Lord has been preparing her for a long time and knows her individually, It's such a privlidge, those handful of moments in your life, when you know for certian that GOD KNOWS YOUR NAME. Of course we always know it- but it's special to feel it in a direct way. It was also neat that Casey (her dad) who is a little less active but I think trying to get back in his own way- got a chance to bear his testimnony. Also Olivia's mom adn all her borthers were tehre- which was pretty cool. Her support network isn't tradiitonal, but it's there! On Wednesday I think Dad adn Emma and I are doing and endownment session in teh Boise Temple (so liv has a chance to go through that temple) and then we'll go to lunch after. I am so grateful for the influence all you kids, and emma esp, have had with Liv- and it's so neat to see her take this next step which will be an experience in trusting God and learning to put Him first.

There was also a returning missionary speaking who did an excellent job- I watched him and saw you- and that is a helpful thing when I miss you so much to know that the Lord is doing a work with you and in you. My heart bursts to know that you know your Savior. If I know you know the He is the source of direction and peace and hope, then I know that you'll always be okay the rest of you life- He is the answer no matter the question, the problem.

One thing that missionary shared that I loved is that being on a mission taught him that there is a difference between hoping FOR something AND hoping IN something. when we truly have hope IN our Savior, His will becomes ours and miracles can happen. That is an anchor for faith. That is the place you launch from for your area goals-- not hope FOR friends to teach and baptisms but hope IN the Savior to roll forth the way for you to do His work.

Tonight we will go and visit Sherron Danner, She was released from the hospital and is at her daughter's home in Meridian recovering. I'm glad she is on the mend-- it's probably a slow road and I don't know how it looks for her getting back to Nampa, but in time she will. For now I'm glad she's closer.

Well love I won't keep you, the work awaits,

Wanted to share though, a talk I read yesterday. It's a heavy one-- full of pondering material and not a quick read, but I encourage you to study it. The quote from it that I have carried with me since yesterday is when Elder Bednar quoted Elder Maxwell- "There would have been no Atonement except for the character of Christ."

I know that the more we learn of Him, seek after Him, strive to emulate Him, we are enabled to love and serve in His way. I can't really think of any more of a full way to do that than as a missioanry- which is why I wanted to share the talk with you,

https://www2.byui.edu/Presentations/Transcripts/ReligionSymposium/2003_01_25_Bednar.htm

In case you can't access that link, I'll paste it here.

I love ou Elder Miller. I see Christ's attributes in you more and more every day! Give our best to Elder Hall. He is in all our prayers too!

"THE CHARACTER OF CHRIST"

Brigham Young University-Idaho Religion Symposium
January 25, 2003
Elder David A. Bednar

Good morning, brothers and sisters. I am delighted to be here with you. I pray for and invite the Holy Ghost to be with me and with you as together we discuss an important aspect of the life and ministry of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Last September I participated in an area training meeting in Twin Falls, Idaho. Elder Neal A. Maxwell presided at the training session, and on a Friday night and a Saturday morning he, the Idaho Area Presidency, and other general church officers instructed a group of approximately one hundred stake presidents. It was a meaningful and memorable time of spiritual enrichment, learning, and edification.

During the course of his teaching and testifying, Elder Maxwell made a statement that impressed me deeply and has been the recent focus for much of my studying, reflecting, and pondering. He said, "There would have been no Atonement except for the character of Christ." Since hearing this straightforward and penetrating statement, I have tried to learn more about and better understand the word "character." I have also pondered the relationship between Christ's character and the Atonement--and the implications of that relationship for each of us as disciples. This morning I hope to share with you just a few of the learnings that have come to my mind and heart as I have attempted to more fully appreciate this teaching by Elder Maxwell.

What is Character?

After returning home from the area training meeting in Twin Falls, the first question I attempted to answer was "What is character?" The Oxford English Dictionary indicates that many of the uses of the word character relate to graphic symbols, printing, engraving, and writing. The usages I found most relevant, however, relate to ". . . the sum of the moral and mental qualities which distinguish an individual or a race; mental or moral constitution; moral qualities strongly developed or strikingly displayed" (Oxford English Dictionary Online, University Press 2003, Second Edition, 1989). Interestingly, when we look up the word "character" in the topical guide of our scriptures, we discover that it is cross-referenced to the topics of honesty, honor, and integrity.

Brigham Young emphasized the significance of the Savior's character as he taught and testified about the truthfulness of the Holy Bible:

. . . the Bible is true. It may not all have been translated aright, and many precious things may have been rejected in the compilation and translation of the Bible; but we understand, from the writings of one of the Apostles, that if all the sayings and doings of the Savior had been written, the world could not contain them. I will say that the world could not understand them. They do not understand what we have on record, nor the character of the Savior, as delineated in the Scriptures; and yet it is one of the simplest things in the world, and the Bible, when it is understood, is one of the simplest books in the world, for, as far as it is translated correctly, it is nothing but truth, and in truth there is no mystery save to the ignorant. The revelations of the Lord to his creatures are adapted to the lowest capacity, and they bring life and salvation to all who are willing to receive them. (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 124, emphasis added)

Brigham Young further taught that faith must be focused upon Jesus' character, in His Atonement, and in the Father's plan of salvation:

. . . I will take the liberty of saying to every man and woman who wishes to obtain salvation through him (the Savior) that looking to him, only, is not enough: they must have faith in his name, character and atonement; and they must have faith in his father and in the plan of salvation devised and wrought out by the Father and the Son. What will this faith lead to? It will lead to obedience to the requirements of the Gospel; and the few words that I may deliver to my brethren and sisters and friends this afternoon will be with the direct view of leading them to God. (Journal of Discourses, Vol.13, p. 56, Brigham Young, July 18, 1869, emphasis added)

The Character of the Lord Jesus Christ

In a message entitled "O How Great the Plan of Our God" delivered to CES religious educators in February of 1995 (p. 5), Elder Maxwell specifically linked Christ's character to the infinite and eternal atoning sacrifice:

Jesus' character necessarily underwrote His remarkable atonement. Without Jesus' sublime character there could have been no sublime atonement! His character is such that He "[suffered] temptations of every kind" (Alma 7:11), yet He gave temptations "no heed" (Doctrine and Covenants 20:22).
Someone has said only those who resist temptation really understand the power of temptation. Because Jesus resisted it perfectly, He understood temptation perfectly, hence He can help us. The fact that He was dismissive of temptation and gave it "no heed," reveals His marvelous character, which we are to emulate (see Doctrine and Covenants 20:22; 3 Nephi 12:48; 27:27).

Perhaps the greatest indicator of character is the capacity to recognize and appropriately respond to other people who are experiencing the very challenge or adversity that is most immediately and forcefully pressing upon us. Character is revealed, for example, in the power to discern the suffering of other people when we ourselves are suffering; in the ability to detect the hunger of others when we are hungry; and in the power to reach out and extend compassion for the spiritual agony of others when we are in the midst of our own spiritual distress. Thus, character is demonstrated by looking and reaching outward when the natural and instinctive response is to be self-absorbed and turn inward. If such a capacity is indeed the ultimate criterion of moral character, then the Savior of the world is the perfect example of such a consistent and charitable character.

Examples of Christ's Character in the New Testament

The New Testament is replete with "strikingly displayed" examples of the Savior's character. We are all well aware that following His baptism by John the Baptist and as a preparation for His public ministry, the Savior fasted for forty days. He also was tempted by the adversary to inappropriately use His supernal power to satisfy physical desires by commanding that stones be made bread, to gain recognition by casting Himself down from the pinnacle of the temple, and to obtain wealth and power and prestige in exchange for falling down and worshiping the tempter (see Matthew 4:1-9). It is interesting to note that the overarching and fundamental challenge to the Savior in each of these three temptations is contained in the taunting statement, "If thou be the Son of God." Satan's strategy, in essence, was to dare the Son of God to improperly demonstrate His God-given powers, to sacrifice meekness and modesty, and, thereby, betray who He was. Thus, Satan attempted repeatedly to attack Jesus' understanding of who He was and of His relationship with His Father. Jesus was victorious in meeting and overcoming the strategy of Satan.

I suspect the Savior may have been at least partially spent physically after forty days of fasting--and somewhat spiritually drained after His encounter with the adversary. With this background information in mind, please turn with me now to Matthew 4, and together we will read verse 11: "Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him."

This verse in the King James version of the New Testament clearly indicates that angels came and ministered to the Savior after the devil had departed. And, undoubtedly, Jesus would have benefitted from and been blessed by such a heavenly ministration in a time of physical and spiritual need.

However, the Joseph Smith Translation of Matthew 4:11 provides a remarkable insight into the character of Christ. Please note the important differences in verse 11 between the King James version and the Joseph Smith Translation: "Then the devil leaveth him, and, now Jesus knew that John was cast into prison, and he sent angels, and, behold, they came and ministered unto him (John)."

Interestingly, the additions found in the JST completely change our understanding of this event. Angels did not come and minister to the Savior; rather, the Savior, in His own state of spiritual, mental, and physical distress, sent angels to minister to John. Brothers and sisters, it is important for us to recognize that Jesus in the midst of His own challenge recognized and appropriately responded to John--who was experiencing a similar but lesser challenge than that of the Savior's. Thus, the character of Christ is manifested as He reached outward and ministered to one who was suffering--even as He himself was experiencing anguish and torment.

In the upper room on the night of the last supper, the very night during which He would experience the greatest suffering that ever took place in all of the worlds created by Him, Christ spoke about the Comforter and peace:

These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you.
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:25-27)

Once again the fundamental character of Christ is revealed magnificently in this tender incident. Recognizing that He himself was about to intensely and personally experience the absence of both comfort and peace, and in a moment when His heart was perhaps troubled and afraid, the Master reached outward and offered to others the very blessings that could and would have strengthened Him.

In the great intercessory prayer, offered immediately before Jesus went forth with His disciples over the brook Cedron to the Garden of Gethsemane, the Master prayed for His disciples and for all:

. . . which shall believe on me through their word;
That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me . . .
. . . that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them. (John 17:20, 21, 23, 26)

I find myself repeatedly asking the following questions as I ponder this and other events that took place so close to the Savior's suffering in the garden and His betrayal: How could He pray for the well-being and unity of others immediately before His own anguish? What enabled Him to seek comfort and peace for those whose need was so much less than His? As the fallen nature of the world He created pressed in upon Him, how could He focus so totally and so exclusively upon the conditions and concerns of others? How was the Master able to reach outward when a lesser being would have turned inward? The statement I quoted earlier from Elder Maxwell provides the answer to each of these powerful questions:

Jesus' character necessarily underwrote His remarkable atonement. Without Jesus' sublime character there could have been no sublime atonement! His character is such that He "[suffered] temptations of every kind" (Alma 7:11), yet He gave temptations "no heed" (Doctrine and Covenants 20:22). ("O How Great the Plan of Our God," message delivered to CES religious educators in February of 1995, p. 5)

Jesus, who suffered the most, has the most compassion for all of us who suffer so much less. Indeed, the depth of suffering and compassion is intimately linked to the depth of love felt by the ministering one. Consider the scene as Jesus emerged from His awful suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. Having just sweat great drops of blood from every pore as part of the infinite and eternal Atonement, the Redeemer encountered a multitude:

And while he yet spake, behold a multitude, and he that was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them, and drew unto Jesus to kiss him.
But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss?
When they which were about him saw what would follow, they said unto him, Lord, shall we smite with the sword?
And one of them smote the servant of the high priest, and cut off his right ear. (Luke 22:47-50)

Given the magnitude and intensity of Jesus' agony, it perhaps would have been understandable if He had not noticed and attended to the guard's severed ear. But the Savior's character activated a compassion that was perfect. Note His response to the guard as described in verse 51: "And Jesus answered and said, Suffer ye thus far. And he touched his ear, and healed him (Luke 22:51).

As individually impressive as is each of the preceding events, I believe it is the consistency of the Lord's character across multiple episodes that is ultimately the most instructive and inspiring. In addition to the incidents we have thus far reviewed, recall how the Savior, while suffering such agony on the cross, instructed the Apostle John about caring for Jesus' mother, Mary (John 19:26-27). Consider how, as the Lord was taken to Calvary and the awful agony of the crucifixion was commenced, He pleaded with the Father in behalf of the soldiers to ". . . forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Remember also that in the midst of excruciating spiritual and physical pain, the Savior offered hope and reassurance to one of the thieves on the cross, "To day shalt thou be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43). Throughout His mortal ministry, and especially during the events leading up to and including the atoning sacrifice, the Savior of the world turned outward--when the natural man or woman in any of us would have been self-centered and focused inward.

Developing a Christlike Character

We can in mortality seek to be blessed with and develop essential elements of a Christlike character. Indeed, it is possible for us as mortals to strive in righteousness to receive the spiritual gifts associated with the capacity to reach outward and appropriately respond to other people who are experiencing the very challenge or adversity that is most immediately and forcefully pressing upon us. We cannot obtain such a capacity through sheer willpower or personal determination. Rather, we are dependent upon and in need of "the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah" (2 Nephi 2:8). But "line upon line, precept upon precept" (2 Nephi 28:30) and "in [the] process of time" (Moses 7:21), we are enabled to reach outward when the natural tendency is for us to turn inward.

It is interesting to me that one of the central elements of the word character is created by the letters A, C, and T. As we already have seen in the examples of Christ's character from the New Testament, the nature and consistency of how one acts reveals in a powerful way his or her true character. In the case of Christ, he is described as one ". . . who went about doing good" (Acts 10:38). Let me now briefly share with you two memorable experiences from my service as a stake president that highlight the relationship between our actions and a Christlike character.

Early one summer morning I was showering. My wife called to me in the middle of my shower and indicated that I was needed immediately on the telephone. (This was before the day of cell and cordless phones). I quickly put on my robe and hurried to the phone. I next heard the voice of a dear sister and friend informing me of a tragic automobile accident that had just occurred in a remote area involving three teenage young women from our stake. Our friend indicated one of the young women had already been pronounced dead at the scene of the accident and that the two other young women were badly injured and presently were being transported to the regional medical center in Fayetteville. She further reported that the identity of the deceased young woman was not yet known. There was urgency in her voice, but there was no panic or excessive alarm. She then asked if I could go to the hospital, meet the ambulance when it arrived, and assist in identifying the young women. I answered that I would leave immediately.

During the course of our telephone conversation and as I listened to both the information being conveyed and the voice of our friend, I gradually became aware of two important things. First, this friend's daughter was one of the young women involved in the accident. Our friend lived approximately 35 miles from the hospital and therefore needed the assistance of someone who lived closer to the city. Second, I detected that the mother simultaneously was using two telephone handsets--with one in each hand pressed to each of her ears. I became aware that as she was talking with me, she was also talking with a nurse at a small rural hospital who had initially attended to the three accident victims. Our friend was receiving updated information about the condition of the young women in the very moment she was informing me about the accident and requesting my help. I then heard one of the most remarkable things I have ever heard in my life.

I faintly heard the nurse telling this faithful mother and friend that the young woman pronounced dead at the scene of the accident had been positively identified as her daughter. I could not believe what I was hearing. I was listening to this good woman in the very moment that she learned of the death of her precious daughter. Without hesitation, and with a calm and most deliberate voice, our friend next said, "President Bednar, we must get in contact with the two other mothers. We must let them know as much as we can about the condition of their daughters and that they will soon be in the hospital in Fayetteville." There was no self-pity; there was no self-absorption; there was no turning inward. The Christlike character of this devoted woman was manifested in her immediate and almost instinctive turning outward to attend to the needs of other suffering mothers. It was a moment and a lesson that I have never forgotten. In a moment of ultimate grief, this dear friend reached outward when I likely would have turned inward.

I then drove to the hospital with a concern in my heart for the well-being of the two other beautiful young women who had been involved in the accident. Little did I realize that the lessons I would learn about Christlike character--lessons taught by seemingly ordinary disciples--were just beginning.

I arrived at the hospital and proceeded to the emergency room. After properly establishing who I was and my relationship to the victims, I was invited into two different treatment areas to identify the injured young women. It was obvious that their respective wounds were serious and life threatening. And the lovely countenances and physical features of these young women had been badly marred. Within a relatively short period of time, the two remaining young women died. All three of these virtuous, lovely, and engaging young women--who seemed to have so much of life in front of them--suddenly had gone home to their Eternal Father. My attention and the attention of the respective families now shifted to funeral arrangements and logistics.

A day or so later, in the midst of program planning and detail arranging for the three funerals, I received a phone call from the Relief Society president of my home ward. Her daughter had been one of the victims in the accident, and she and I had talked several times about her desires for the funeral program. This faithful woman was a single mother rearing her only child--her teenage daughter. I was especially close to this woman and her daughter having served as both their bishop and stake president. After reviewing and finalizing several details for the funeral of her daughter, this good sister said to me, "President, I am sure it was difficult for you to see my daughter in the emergency room the other day. She was severely injured and disfigured. As you know, we will have a closed casket at the funeral. I have just returned from the funeral home, and they have helped my daughter to look so lovely again. I was just wondering . . . why don't we arrange a time when we can meet at the mortuary and you can have one last look at her before she is buried. Then your final memories of my daughter will not be the images you saw in the emergency room the other day." I listened and marveled at the compassion and thoughtfulness this sister had for me. Her only daughter had just been tragically killed, but she was concerned about the potentially troublesome memories I might have given my experience in the emergency room. In this good woman I detected no self-pity and no turning inward. Sorrow, certainly. Sadness, absolutely. Nevertheless, she reached outward when many or perhaps most of us would have turned inward with sorrow and grief.

Let me describe one final episode related to these three tragic deaths. On the day of her daughter's funeral, this Relief Society president from my home ward received a phone call from an irritated sister in our ward. The complaining sister had a cold and did not feel well, and she basically chewed out the Relief Society president for not being thoughtful or compassionate enough to arrange for meals to be delivered to her home. Just hours before the funeral of her only child, this remarkable Relief Society president prepared and delivered a meal to the murmuring sister.

We appropriately and rightly speak with reverence and awe of young men who sacrificed their lives to rescue stranded handcart pioneers and of other mighty men and women who repeatedly gave their all to establish the Church in the early days of the Restoration. I speak with equal reverence and awe of these two women--women of faith and character and conversion--who taught me so much and instinctively reached outward when most of us would have turned inward. Oh how I appreciate their quiet and powerful examples.

I noted earlier in my remarks that the letters A, C, and T form a central component in the word character. Also noteworthy is the similarity between the words character and charity--as both words contain the letters C, H, A, and R. Etymologically there is no relationship between these two words. Nevertheless, I believe there are several conceptual connections that are important for us to consider and ponder.

Let me suggest that you and I must be praying and yearning and striving and working to cultivate a Christlike character if we hope to receive the spiritual gift of charity--the pure love of Christ. Charity is not a trait or characteristic we acquire exclusively through our own purposive persistence and determination. Indeed we must honor our covenants and live worthily and do all that we can do to qualify for the gift; but ultimately the gift of charity possesses us--we do not posses it (see Moroni 7:47). The Lord determines if and when we receive all spiritual gifts, but we must do all in our power to desire and yearn and invite and qualify for such gifts. As we increasingly act in a manner congruent with the character of Christ, then perhaps we are indicating to heaven in a most powerful manner our desire for the supernal spiritual gift of charity. And clearly we are being blessed with this marvelous gift as we increasingly reach outward when the natural man or woman in us would typically turn inward.

I conclude now by returning to where I began--the statement by Elder Maxwell in that special training session last September: "There would have been no Atonement except for the character of Christ." It was the Prophet Joseph Smith who stated that "it is the first principle of the Gospel to know for a certainty the Character of God" (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 345). The New Testament is a rich resource for learning about and increasing our appreciation for the character and life and example of the Savior. My prayer for each of us is that through our study of this sacred volume of scripture we will more fully come unto Him; more completely become like Him; and more fervently worship, reverence, and adore Him.

As a witness, I declare my witness. I know and testify and witness that Jesus is the Christ, the Only Begotten Son of the Eternal Father. I know that He lives. And I testify that His character made possible for us the opportunities for both immortality and eternal life. May we reach outward when the natural tendency for us is to turn inward, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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12-23-22

Benjamin is on date!! Wahoo! Babe how amazing! That is a literal miracle and the Lord’s response to his faith, and your faith as missionaries!!!

I love that you could look him in the eye and invite Him to be baptized—what a powerful experience- so full fo the spirit, I am sure. It must be so reassuring to know that God knows each of His children—He prepared Benjamin, and He prepared you and His gathering is happening! How essential for Benjamin to understand that he is literally following the Savior’s example by getting baptized. His serious answer of “yes” not a casual answer is also beautiful, he knows he is accepting the Savior’s invitation. He understood that commitment he was making because you taught him what it means, what it promises! I love that his date is soon, but not too soon that he still has enough time to learn and to change and to commit. How special. We will all be praying for that.

I love that you know that your genuine offer to serve others is EXACTLY what the Savior would do. No wonder it softens hearts… that’s so neat We were pretty blown away by your pic with the dirty legs (looked like brown hairy leggings) That’s so dirty and good evidence of a lot of choppy that was done! That snake pic too—yikes—that big belly like it just ate something—eewww…. It’d be hard to go hard with choppy work when you might hack into something like that.

Babe that’s beautiful that you knew to pray when things were not feeling on the same page with your comp, Dad and I have done that so many times when it seemed like no one was budging, Its good the spirit softened your heart to understand Elder Hall’s motives- and not assume he was trying to control everything for being in charge sake like your last comp= it’s good that the spirit could teach him what he needed to do differently and help you too—so you really could reset-= that’s a beautiful example of a working relationship and unity (remember that for your married days- it will work just like that= nothing softens hearts like prayer and the way the spirt can nudge us to correct or apologize or see things differently will always be the most effective way to redirect or shift the tide. And a hug to end it is really neat too- just, like the scriptures say, “show an increase of love” I’m glad you wrote about it and yes—very good and healthy communication- and team work!

That’s exciting that you have a baptism on Christmas eve AT THE BEACH! Super cool- can’t wait for those pics. We love all your pictures—that one with the old car was cool too! Thank you for putting them on your camera roll and taking them (like the double rainbow ones too~)

Today Sadie and Seth left for Donnelly- Seth was headed skiing at Brundage with his mom and sibs and Sadie was staying at the ranch with Josh. That sounded kind of awkward- I think I would have gone to the lodge and had hot chocolate and read there- but it’s what she wanted to do. It’s hard when Seth is such a big skier, and she isn’t-= but It was good to see their compromise. Pray for her and Seth this Christmas= it’s really hard with the divorce and all the dynamics and we’ve seen more instances of how emotionally unstable that situation is- which is so sad, and sometimes hurtful—which is unfair and kinda gets my mama bear going-= but some of it , is the Jones family just dealing with hard and change and Sadie is a new addition and it’s easy for them to blame her for why things aren’t more normal- or why Seth can’t fix everything of be the glue like he used to be able to be for everyone-- it’s a lot to navigate as a newlywed for Buggy- and hard for Seth-=- he called one night last week and just need to talk and in tears he said, “It’s so hard having a family that’s so broken,” We talked a lot about not owning things that aren’t his issues, showing love and forgiveness but I think it’s a lot for him to be a married person (and some of that fam aren’t the kindest to Sadie, and she’s not always the best at rolling with it- though I don’t think I could handle that amount of crazy very well either) Anyway- I ‘m glad we’ll see them at the cabin we rented over new years- I am pretty sure she’ll need to process her holidays.

Liv came over and Emma and Liv and I went to the Boise Temple to do a session and I loved that—that temple really does feel “like a hug” (that’s what Bev Oels says about the Boise temple) After we stopped by Ling and Louies for lunch. Dad ordered Louie’s hangover fried rice (fried rice with chicken shrimp, and a sunny side egg on top—kind of Moco Loco vibes) It was good to be at the temple with Liv and Emma. I was able to go on Tuesday too, with Sarah Buma (she was in town to bring Ashton her oldest home from BYU I – she just graduated) So that was special to be there with her and be in the temple twice this week. So grateful to live close to the temple.

Tonight we were supposed to to Marianne’s for the Miller Christmas function, but Lainey woke up really sick last night- came in my bed—for awhile it was dad, Watson, Lainey, Me Copper J- but I couldn’t move so eventually I went and slept in Lainey’s bed. She still has a really high fever—hope this doesn’t spread or last long- anyway we decided to not go out to Middleton (Avery was thrilled..hahaha) so we’ll keep it on the down low tonight and stick around here

Lainey just came in , so I better go—so excited to talk to you soon. We love you. Don’t forget this Christmas isn’t just different, it’s an offering to the Lord—make it special~!

I love you!

Mama

Heres a talk for you by President Monson- I loved the title—made me think of how you initially saw Benjamin through the Lord’s eyes- and now look what is happening….

This quote he shared by John Taylor was so neat and it made me think of you “The kind of men we want as bearers of this gospel message are men who have faith in God; men who have faith in their religion; men who honor their priesthood; … men full of the Holy Ghost and the power of God[;] … men of honor, integrity, virtue and purity.”

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2012/10/see-others-as-they-may-become?lang=eng

See Others as They May Become

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12/28/22

I think you did really well navigating Christmas—that was a rough one and I love that you kept trying to keep your focus on others. It’s okay (like dad said) that there were hard moments- but I’m glad it’s behind you! I loved reading about your lunch with that sweet lady- that’s so neat and also about the boy with the bike gear thing in the road—how sweet of you—I mean who else would’ve stopped to do that for him but a missionary? It’s so cute. I bet it made a world of difference bc otherwise he would’ve had to walk it home and who knows if it would’ve been a priority to fix it. It’s such a simple but sweet example of seeing a need., Showing kindness and being a light. Also so sweet of the Packards to try to make Christmas feel a little more special for you two! ♥ Id’ like to be a senior missionary like that helping out the missionaries.

I just saw your pics and showed dad and he said, looks like he got new bike tires! I hope so! You look so great in your pictures! Did you see Coopers email? I didn’t listen to his sound recording—I can’t handle it. Too much jive- but I did look through his pic and someone needs to tell him not to take pics of other missionaries in their g’s. (even if it is a haircut picture. Oy! Yikes.. Cooper is running out of time to grow up. I hope he does though bc I find him pretty hard to tolerate—and as an RM, that’s even harder. But hopefully he can tone it down and figure it out- because I think he’s a super dynamic person, just really immature—and he needs to figure out that he is from Idaho falls not Harlem.

The last few days have been really chill—which has been nice—tonight we have Avery’s first tourney game in Boise at Capital. She’ll miss the other two tournament games Thurs and Friday since we’ll be in Donnelly. Her team will miss her. Dad says they prob won’t score above 15- since she gets most of their points and all their assists. It’s nice her coaches are easy going (maybe bc it’s frost) about her missing some tournament games. Sarah Jane is bringing down Lexi and Qunnleigh (freshman and sophomore both on Hillcrest Girls varsity) for the same tournament. Zoey will be playing for Middleton. But we won’t be able to see them play bc we’ll be in McCall- and no one has reached out about watching Avery (understandably since varisty games are better) but still….

I tried to figure out a way to get down to Utah for Uncle Glenn’s funeral which is this Tuesday, Jan 2- but I think I won’t be able to go—flights are 700-850 which Is crazy expensive and I could drive down, but there’s weather on either side and it’d be a down and back trip with a lot of night driving- Emma offered to drive me- but I feel bad for her to make that drive just to have to make it 2 days after we’d get back to go back down to school/. Sadie is going to be back in Utah after Sunday (after we’re together in Donnelly) and so she will go to the funeral with GG, Opah (who are flying in ) and aunt Jennie, my sister, so I think Sadie can represent our family. We’ll make sure to stop in to see Aunt Becky when we’re down in Utah next. But it’s a little bit of a relief to have figured that out. Wish I could be there though- I always felt close to her and Uncle Glenn- I wish the funeral was on a weekend and then Dad would’ve driven us down.

I teach the RS lesson in RS on Sunday the 8^th on President Neslsons’ overcoming the world talk and I saved your notes you sent to dad and I’m going to pour over them in McCall to prep. It will be sweet for me to have your thoughts on it. I really don’t like teaching! But I hope the Lord can magnify my efforts enough to have the spirt be the real teacher!! I’m kind of nervous about it though.

The talk I wanted to share with you this time I read a couple of days ago by Elder Maxwelll (another oldie but goodie)I like where he starts with

“Now may I speak, not to the slackers in the Kingdom, but to those who carry their own load and more; not to those lulled into false security, but to those buffeted by false insecurity, who, though laboring devotedly in the Kingdom, have recurring feelings of falling forever short.” Because I felt like he was talking to me a little …. Just a good talk for when you fight feelings of fatigue and inadequacy… I love how he ends it too, “
“And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for … then shall I see his face with pleasure” (Enos 1:27; italics added) for then will our confidence “wax strong in the presence of God,” (D&C 121:45; italics added), and He who cannot lie will attest to our adequacy with the warm words “Well done.”

If you have time, it’s a good one to study, and not too long either….

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1976/10/notwithstanding-my-weakness?lang=eng

I love you so much! We are all praying for you and for Benjamin and Rubinetta, and all of your friends- your message is full of hope and promise and the Lord knows who is ready for it and how to help his children in Noord draw closer to it. Keep being amazing. Fight a good fight. Your time as a missionary is sacred and counted!

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12/29/22

Dec 28 response

Well Dad and I hit our 27^th anniversary on the 29^th- crazy that it’s been that long, and then sometimes it seems like forever. I am so grateful for him. He is my everything…27 (actually 29 since we started dating) years going strong. We went to dinner at Twiggs in the villages last night and then walked around after (whcih I alwasys want to do bc there's so much ambiance there btu he's always too cold, so it was cute of him to do it)

I’m glad you have a bike with better gears and tires I’m sorry about the hard seat- don’t feel bad about buying a pad—that will make a big difference. I sent dad a gel seat on his mission 😉 Yay for being assertive enough to get the right kind of seat, even if you have to talk to a few people and make a little extra effort to get it done!

There is always a honeymoon phase with a comp and it’s okay that you are feeling that wearing off bc that’s totally normal He isn’t your trainer though so I think with gentleness you can share how it makes you feel (and give an example so he gets it) when he continually goes into “I’m teaching you mode” instead of team player. He has a good heart and my guess is that he doesn’t recognize it- so if you don’t say anything (at a the right time like comp inventory and in the right spirit) then that’s on you. Be prayerful about how to communicate that. Follow up after with how awesome it is to have a comp that wants to work so hard and is obedient and build from there. Comp unity doesn’t mean it’s roses all the time, it means you are striving together to be in sync with each other and the spirit. That’s when you’ll be the happiest and most effective- and when it feels like you aren’t on the same page- talk it out, pray it out, show extra patience and speak up.

I am sure Cooper does have highs on his mission, just like you do- but I promise, like your weekly group emails don’t paint the exact picture of it all, and shouldn’t bc you have such a wide audience, prospective missionaries, friends, non members etc- but trust me- Cooper is in the trenches too- in his mission in moments, but also dealing with missing Christmas, basketball season, Kobe’s mission call, and who knows what all else….. part of who he is a hype guy and that’s going to come thru in his recordings… it’s who he is to the outside world and I get the feeling like some of his “rah rah” is for his teammates and Kesler fans, peers and such that are on that list he sends to- which is great-= but trust me- it’s not the entire picture—the weekly audience (or in his case randomly sent email audio audience) isn’t where he is really sharing ALL of it. Also, I think it’s easy to come across light and jokey and jivey or whatever in an audio recording, then to sit and type it out. At the end of the day there’s highs and lows and it doesn’t matter so much where you serve- but I’m guessing that there’s some overcompensating for that too. But good is where you look for it—and that’s what he’s going to talk about—just remember the perspective and try not to compare- bc he has to have the hards—every missionary does and if you don’t—you are missing something or not working hard enough or caring enough. He’s sharing the highs…. And prob clinging to them a lot more than he lets on- which is good.. So there’s that.

I love you Miles—be gentle with yourself. You aren’t wading though this- you are “choppying” your way literally ad figuratively. There are going to be snakes and there are going to be smiles of members who get it and appreciate you…. (and I’m bot just talking about service- it’s just the reality of doing a hard thing—highs and lows)

Update here- Avery’s game was rough- She didn’t sub out the whole game and dad kept saying “she’s gassed” (tired) and she was. She has no one who will or can pass/assist, and Timberline’s team was fast and so she didn’t get a lot of looks. I think she had 9 or so points of their 30- but she didn’t feel great about it- It felt like a really long game just watching.

We are loading up for McCall- so much stuff you have to take up when it isn’t your own cabin. ;( I am sad but I think if I went to our cabin I’d miss you so much it would hurt more than I can deal with, so it’s prob good we’re going to a different spot. I hope the snow is good bc our ski passes (for dad and kids (not Sadie hehehe) are Friday and Saturday and can’t be exchanged for another day so if there’s rain instead of snow that will be brutal. Seth has ben skiing up there with his siblings and said they got 15 inches last night so that’s good, bc it’s been really warm here-all the snow in the yard has melted with rain and warmer temps and skiing at Bogus isn’t too great since the warm up apparently- so hopefully it’s a different story at Tamarack. Emma is a little worried about keeping up with the group ion the ski hill- but I think she’ll do fine.

IT’s fun that we get to take Copper J and Watson- Copper remembers enough to get super excited we say the words he knows in a series “Trip? MCCall? Deer? I hope that works out well- It’s not like we an let them off leash to play in the snow , I’m sure it’s super high and not really a fenced situation—we’ll have to see. I’ll get video if we see any deer on the drive—it will be interesting to take Watson on a car trip, we’ haven’t done that yet-

Dad has got his new years resolutions planned out and I thought I had personally too, but he wants to do it together (which I usually resist bc he approaches it differently than I do and I generally like to keep it more private and personal) but obviously what I’ve been doing isn’t working so I guess I’m on board with what he’s excited about. And he really thinks that doing it in a group might be motivating. I think it’s a 10 week challenge no desserts, no bread, exercise 5 days a week, 64 oz water, daily weigh in (I’ll do that but no sharing numbers) To me that feels like a big swing from where we've been and that worries me. I think he’s going to get Sadie on board too. I can only handle so much of their goal hype. Anyway I’m sure there will be some overeating this weekend and then the crash and burn on Sunday the first when it all starts. Wish me luck!

I love you. Miss you so much but couldn’t be more appreciative of your example and proud of your efforts. I know you probably were hoping and working toward that White December goal, but Benjamin is still part of that- and the Lord is more concerned with his children and He knows the perfect timing-- hope you feel blessed with a miracle of his progression, even if a baptism is at the end of January instead of December. A goal is such a great way to rededicate our efforts and focus faith- but the timing is the Lords and He is in the details of Noord! All the work you are doing in your area book will be huge for every missionary after you, too!

I’ll still check your pics while I’m in McCall- and respond- but don’t stress if you don’t have time to upload. One day at a time—keep seeking out those tender mercies and little joys and jotting them down in your field notes—reread them for boosts!

Xoxoxo

Mama

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My heart is in the Trinadad Port of Spain Mission/Georgetown Guyana : a blog for Elder Miles Miller